Showing posts with label Chronically Sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chronically Sick. Show all posts

Sunday, 12 June 2022

Continuing Failures to Care


Whilst this blog-post can be read without reading my previous post, “Crime, Death or Asylum, the reader may wish to read it for background. This previous posting details some of my health conditions and the ramifications of the change in care-provider including loss of weight, severe dehydration, some quite severe reäctions to change in medication and care, and the over-all deterioration in my health since the council-owned care-agency took over in April 2021 and changed my care-regimen in August 2021.


*


For some nine weeks I have been resident in my home’s guest-room. It is by far the snuggest room in the house, for some reason we have never quite figured out.


Normally I work my way through at least one whole box of mansize-tissues per week; but since the change of room I have only used up two boxes. I am allergic to dust - something which is rather difficult to avoid. My usual bedroom must have been extremely dusty and hence my constant sneezing and running-nose!


Normally we clear me out of the bedroom once per year so that it can be deep-cleaned. Alas, last year I was just not well enough to leave my room for any useful length of time. Indeed, this year, simply moving to the guest-room caused me to be almost totally bedridden for some three weeks, excepting using the lavatory for defecating and the occasional urination.


When I was finally able to rise from my bed to attend to practical chores in my usual bedroom, I discovered as I picked up objects, books, etc. just how dusty the room had become. Dust-balls rolled across the hard floor-surface like tumbleweed! The tops of books had the finest dust-coatings I have probably ever seen. However, when one reälises that there were five tubs-worth of books in my room, that adds up to a heck of a lot of contaminants!


My housemate has nearly completed the deep-cleansing. Most of the room plus its en suite have been vacuum-cleaned, mopped and hard-surfaces disinfected. There are just a couple of chores remaining. Then I may start moving some of my things back into my personal bed-cell.




[Image description: the writer in his usual bedroom]



Carer Duties


I have to say that the standard of care since my move, some nine weeks ago, has probably deteriorated. Remember: whilst mostly my long-term memory is fine, my active-memory is shockingly poor (and this is typical of someone with my chronic-illnesses); I have to be prompted with precise, closed-questions (to which a yes/no response can be given).


Personal Hygiene:


Number of times carers prompted me to shower - ZERO


Number of times carers prompted me to brush my teeth - ZERO


Number of times carers prompted me to mouthwash - ZERO


Number of times carers prompted a change of bedding - ONCE (M)


Number of times carers prompted to use a face-wipe - ONLY J1


Number of times carers prompted a change of clothing - ONLY J1, J3 & M


Food & Drink:


Number of times carers enquired as to what, if anything, I had eaten - ZERO


Number of times carers enquired as to what, if anything, I had drunk - ZERO


Number of times carers checked on water-consumption (water-cup & hydration-system) - DAILY


Number of times carers failed to fill water-cup - J2, J3 & J4 usually forget


Number of times carers failed to replace snacks - J3 & J4 usually forget


Number of times carers failed to enquire whether I wanted something to eat - most of the time, all carers forget.


Medication & Support:


Number of times carers failed to provide medication - ONCE.


Number of times carers enquired whether I needed a heat-bag - ONCE (M)



Trafford Adult Social Services (Trafford ASS) have been over the years repeatedly provided with detailed lists of carer duties, as has the Trafford Council-owned care-agency (or previous care-agencies) and as has my social-worker (and previous social-workers - yes, they are constantly changed). None of these agencies has ensured these lists are actually used, despite reminders and complaints from myself.


After more than a year of being under this selfsame care-agency I only recently discovered that nothing is provided in my file as to what duties are required of carers. Carers have been relying on my housemate (not always at home and anyways gets really annoyed at being constantly asked for the same information over and over) or myself - a person with appalling active-memory.


One carer advised me that due to the care-agency usually only retaining clients for circa three weeks, they have never bothered with duty-lists. However, I have been with this council-owned provider for some fourteen months. This is indicative of a failing to ensure continuity of care and appropriate care. How many other Trafford residents are being failed or have been failed by this deliberate recklessness?


Over a ten-day period I had six visits from a new carer. Trafford ASS etc are well aware that I will not undress with newbie carers until I have developed trust. Put yourself in my position by asking yourself how comfortable or not would you be with undressing or being undressed by a total stranger? Apart from the fact this newbie (J4) had not been mentored through what is needed here, her unwillingness to read through the file to find out her duties and thus her consequent failures in care, there was her lying in the notes after her very first visit. This really does not help me trust someone.


On J4’s first visit the care-agency did not notify me that a new carer would be attending, so I could not ensure housemate was at home. On this occasion he was out. J4 arrived extremely late for a 16.00 first call of the day at 18.09. Apparently she had been training. This meant I had not been fed, watered or medicated for twenty-two hours. There was also a knock-on effect: one of my medications has to have a minimum four hours between doses. Taking this medication at 18.26 would have meant the next dose could not have been taken prior to 22.26. The carers official finish-time is 21.00. One can immediately see the issue. J4 tried to press me to take the medication earlier, but I quite correctly refused as the minimum elapsed time had not passed. J4 noted that this was an outright refusal to take medication. J1 the next day, added an addendum to confirm the facts.


Effectively this was a failure by the care-agency to medicate me. Furthermore, this has not been the first time this year. There have been at least three other occasions in 2022 when the agency has failed to give me my medications. This is a repeated failure to medicate and thus fulfil their contract. Recall this is the council-owned care-agency not some penny-pinching private-enterprise. Imagine how those with private companies are fairing!


Update on my previous blog-post


Despite sending the link to the blog-post to various bodies and organisations, including Nicola Sturgeon in Scotland, I did not receive one single response. I could have committed suïcide. I could be dead from dehydration.


As I commented on Twitter, once one becomes disabled &/or chronically ill in the UK, one become to all intents and purposes invisible and uncared for. The United Nations (they also failed to respond) has repeatedly condemned the UK’s treatment of its disabled population - some eleven million individuals. However, the ultra-right-wing ruling-party and indeed the neoliberal alleged Opposition, do absolutely nothing to ameliorate the on-going situation. Nor will they.


No-one actually genuinely cares




Tuesday, 14 August 2018

ME


ME


Lying abed
hour after hour
Quotidian longueur
Year follows year
inexorably
A prisoner
trapped in the bed
hidden by the blind
out of sight
outside
I want to be out there
living Life
not feeling ennui
or intermittent despair

Twenty birthdays past
when I was free
to simply be
and I danced then
cutting through
floating on
the air
I lived fully
in my body
running
leaping
flying
swimming
singing
joking
laughing
dancing
experiencing
intense Love
kissing
caressing
developing
affinities
my soul

This body keeps me here now
the flesh that struggles to struggle
no longer able to snuggle
in a lover’s embrace
nor for that matter
in a friend’s hug
This same body that’s killing me
slowly
but oh
 so painfully
Weary spirituality
Hope fades
colour drains
into multiple grey-shades
Insufficient energy
to risk mourning
promises of love
No sensuality
No plans
No Future
No happy-ever-after
Readying pain by pain
for an unsolicited here-after
Longing for much more
to be free
of anomie
of constant yearning
of constant envy
to be pain-free again
to awaken a too long-dormant heart
to experience intimacy
to sleep normally
to once again
read a novel cover to cover
entertain friends to a multi-course dinner
play adult games in bed
spontaneously
to be just the older
perhaps wiser
Me


Thursday, 11 May 2017

Half-a-Million Blog-Views


I can hardly believe it: my blog has passed half-a-million (500,000) views in a little under five years, averaging out at about one-hundred-thousand (100,000) viewings per year!

[Image description: stats list showing views at 12.53 BST were 500,025]

A couple of Chester University chums (thanks Annette, Louise & Jon) persuaded me that I had plenty to say and that folk would want to read it. I half-heartedly said I should give it a go, without actually believing blogging was for me. As it happens, my blog has given me a place where I can vent my spleen about how disabled and chronically-sick folk are treated in the United Kingdom (UK) as well as share my dining experiences at eateries across Europe - so far these have included Austria, England, Germany, Greece, Scotland, Spain & Switzerland. I have discovered new countries with ties to Europe and that European disabled peoples are faring badly across the Continent, alas in some cases worse than here in UK.

I do not know how long I shall be able to continue the blog. My aphasia has deteriorated which means my reasoning, thinking and my ability to express myself are all pejorated. My physical stamina is also much reduced due to the myalgic encephalomyelitis. Much of this may be due to the on-going stresses I am under in relation to my thus far unresolved Personal Independence Payment (PIP; UK disability benefit) and my continuing lack of care from my local council Trafford due to the national social care crisis.

This I hope explains why there have been so few posts this year. However, I do have a blog-post ready-ish for tomorrow's International M.E. Awareness Day. It's on a taboo subject, so may or might be considered #nsfw.

To my seven loyal followers and to all readers (occasional or regular): THANK YOU. <3

Sunday, 1 May 2016

And now: the Gallery…


Last year, for #BADD2015, I created a collage of disabled folk doing various quotidian activities entitled "We Live" (NB NSFW) along with an eponymous poem. The following blog-post is one of two that make up my contribution to this year's Blogging Against Disablism Day (#BADD2016). It is a cyber-gallery of artworks that I hope will speak to some of us with disabilities and/or chronic illness.

As part of the curating duties, I shall keep labelling to a minimum, for I want the observer to draw their own inferences, meaning and significance, if any. I have come across all the images over the past few months via social media. I have done my best to track down the artists and/or copyright-©-holder. This will be stated firstly. Where I have done so, the name will also serve as a link to further information or the artist's own website. Then, for the sight-impaired, I have attempted to describe each piece. This latter task took several hours, far longer than anticipated. I hope therefore that my descriptions prove helpful.

I am not aware of any musea or galleries that have specifically curated for disabled people (although no doubt it has been done previously). However I am aware of one professional disabled artist, Liz Crow, who very much presents her work, both live and on-line, in the most accessible ways. I do not know the disability/able-bodied status of any of the artists featured below. This is not a collection of art by "the disabled"; but rather images and objects that have spoken to me personally. I hope that at least one or two might also speak to the reader/observer.

Like the bloggers for Blogging Against Disablism Day, the artists (where known) come from across the globe: Denmark, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Korea, Lebanon, Mexico, New Zealand, Portugal, Russia, Serbia, Thailand, UK, & US. Apologies to Africa and South America that your continents are not represented on this occasion.

Please feel at liberty to write any comments in the section below the blog-post. I shall endeavour to respond in due course (but note I suffer unpredictable, long periods of ill-health so cannot guarantee an immediate response!). Remember to cite the artist or, in the case of unknown artists, the number (#) of the title unknown.



artist/© unknown
Photograph
title unknown (#1)
A teddy-bear lies tucked in pastel-coloured bedding
in a room suffused with sunshine;
the toy faces away from the window.

Ben Ashton (London, England)
unknown
 Photograph
A naked man levitates above a bed, covered with rumpled, dark-blue bedding,
his arms & legs dangling below his body and head.

unknown
Sculpture
A bust of a man looking upwards with most of his head missing;
constructed from bicycle chains.

Bookonbook (US)
unknown
Sculpture
A blank, transparent acrylic tome lies open on an unpolished wooden surface.

Momentform (Paris, France)
unknown
photograph b/w
Three flights of down-lit stairs with lit hand-rails;
leading down to an empty room with a polished stone or concrete floor,
where reflections of windows can be seen.

Carl Holsøe (Denmark)
"Interior with an open window"
Painting
C19th interior with tall windows, one open looking out on to a bosky perspective;
a door to the left stands open leading to a darkened area which cannot be seen;
on a polished wooden floor against the wall stands a folded, medium-sized gate-leg table,
upon which stands a covered dish and a small glass bud-vase with a sprig of flowers.

Carolus-Duran (France)
"The Convalescent"
Painting
A thickly bearded man sleeps in a chair,
his head propped by a large pillow;
he wears a crimson pyjama top and grey pants;
his complexion is sallow,
the skin on his uncovered face, throat, upper chest, hands and left forearm is pale;
in the foreground is the back of an easel and a painting -
is he an artist resting from working or looking at a favourite picture?

Christian Lemmerz (Denmark, b. Germany)
"Resurrection"
Sketch
The outline of a person levitating,
arms and head dangling backwards,
knees and legs drawn upwards;
streaks of red and grey-blue wash across the image;
there appear faint outlines of at least two other people, reclining.

Dragan Bibin (Serbia)
unknown
Illustration
Viewed from above,
a young woman is tucked under the bedclothes;
her bedspread is a pattern of the reverse side of ordered playing-cards;
in her hands are cards with which she is playing a game;
in the foreground are cards that are either falling towards or rising up from the bed,
amongst them only the ace of clubs and an undetermined king can be seen face-up.

José Davila (Mexico)
unknown
Sculpture/Installation
Above a white shelf on a white wall is the black outline of an oblong;
atop the shelf, leaning against the wall and part of the outline is
a pane of clear glass the same size as the rectangle on the wall.

Mattia Surroz (Italy)
"Everlasting love"
Illustration
Two agèd men in hospital:
one propped up in bed with an intravenous drip,
a smile on his visage;
the other standing over him, holding his hand,
looking sad or concerned;
the colour palette is subdued - white, pastel blues and soft greys.

Mirko Stoedter (Germany)
"Falling Apart"
Photograph (digitally altered)
Left-side profile of a young, thin man, wearing a white T-shirt,
he stares downwards, expressionless;
triangular flecks, fragments of his head, neck, back and left arm scatter above and behind him.

artist/© unknown
title unknown (#2)
Photograph
An interior shot of a log-cabin;
a box-bed is built into a bay with windows on two sides,
a wooded scene can be seen through the windows; 
the bed appears filled with puffed up, comfortable white bedding;
a framed image, a book and a plant stand on a shelf at the unwindowed end of the bed;
below the bed are two drawers and a cupboard;
on the floor is an intricately patterned, richly coloured rug.

Daniel Teixeira (Porto, Portugal)
"Hope"
Print
In the centre of the image is a large, three-storey wood house with a tiled roof;
around the ground-floor large waves are crashing against the house;
above the house is a clear sky with stars and a large full-moon;
silhouetted against the moon is a boy with a fishing-rod sitting on the roof's apex.
The over-all shape of the image and the texture of the waves
could be construed as a bearded man.

artist/© unknown
title unknown (#3)
 Line-drawing
A very large pillow is cuddled, partially encompassed
by a thin female of indeterminate age;
she wears a top and briefs;
her long, flowing and full hair hides her face;
a slogan reads: "i just wanna SLEEP" (sic). 

Jenn Gietzen (Atlanta, US)
unknown
Illustration/Calligraphy
On a white background,
the word "sleep" is written in black with a brush in a cursive script;
below are a pair of stylised, closed eye-lids with lashes.

Justin House (US ?)
unknown
Illustration
On a black background, in white, capital letters is written "PERMANENTLY TIRED",
above the middle-N is a crescent-moon,
on each side of this is a triangular formation of three four-pointed stars;
over-all the lettering & drawing form an egg-shape,
the bottom quarter of the egg is stylised ground,
on which stands a log-cabin to the right,
and three fir-trees to the left;
the space above the ground, but below the lettering is filled with more stars.

Illustration to “Resurrection” by Leo Tolstoy
A richly textured pencil drawing of a bearded man propped up in bed,
his right arm lying on the pillow behind his head,
his left arm raised in the air from the elbow and holding a smoking cigarette;
the man's bed-shirt, the pillow-case and the sheet appear white;
a coloured blanket lays atop;
to the left of the image is a side-table,
on which is a candelabra in the form of an angel holding aloft the candle;
the gaze of the subject looks directly at the observer/drawer.

Geof Teague (Chicago, US)
unknown
Photos in diary with label
An open diary with square-ruled pages:
in the upper half, either side of the spine, are two images of upturned palms & forearms
held above bedding;
in the lower half, on the verso are the words "I sleep"
and on the recto "all Day" (sic).

Michael Ancher (Denmark)
"The Sick Girl"
Painting
A red-headed young woman lies asleep facing to the right of the image,
a C19th bedroom interior;
in her right hand, atop the bedding, she clasps a closed book;
on a wooden chair to the right of her, stand
a pot jar filled with brightly coloured garden-flowers,
two medicine bottles and a table-spoon.

indojo (Germany)
"My Fairy Forest"
Photograph
A lush, green glade dappled in light surrounded by pine forest.

"Standing Man with Stick"
Painting
A featureless man with a darkened face stands in grey top and grey trousers,
holding a walking-stick in his left hand;
the background is a mix of greys and beiges with no discernible forms.

Mr Jo Ji (Thailand)
"The warmth that can touch"
Illustration
A giant, plush teddy-bear encompasses a seated, bearded man,
in shorts and a T-shirt, possibly bedwear;
the chap has a contented, sleeping visage;
he leans into and cuddles one of the bear's arms;
from faintly moving voile curtains either side of the image,
one can deduce that we are looking in through an open window.

"The Sleepwalker"
Photograph (digitally altered) b/w
Standing male buttocks, legs & feet from rear,
holding up a rectangular board,
upon which another male lies curled into a fœtal position;
the feet stand on a wooden floor before a smooth wall.

artist/© unknown, Bully **nter
title unknown (#4)
Photograph
 A ruined and decayed library of a grand house:
the walls are covered in glass-door fronted, wooden bookcases,
some doors open, most shelves still full of books;
the floor is covered in debris and rubble;
a library table stands in the centre of the room covered in papers;
next to it stands a suitcase.

"Hypnos leads the man and cat to slumber"
Painting
the centre of the image is a slumbering Japanese man,
propped on two small white pillows;
he's covered by thick bedding;
in the crux of his left axilla sleeps a fluffy black cat;
on the wall above the sleeping pair either an ornament of Hypnos,
or the manifestation of the actual deïty.

artist/© unknown
title unknown (#4)
Photograph
An old wall of a building, the window blocked in;
it is painted several shades of red;
mold & moss are spreading up from the ground;
In capital letters is spray-painted the words -
"I WANT MY LIFE BACK".

artist/© unknown
title unknown (#5)
Body-paint/Make-up
The back, shoulders and upper arms of a man
covered in bruises down every vertebræ and randomly all over;
skin tone is jaundiced;
veins are highlighted in dark colours as if inflamed.

artist/© unknown
title unknown (#6)
Photograph with slogan
A photo-image of Audre Lorde
along with her quotation:
"CARING FOR MYSELF IS NOT SELF-INDULGENCE,
 IT IS SELF-PRESERVATION
AND THAT IS AN ACT OF POLITICAL WARFARE."

"I was born sick"
Embroidery
A frayed, rectangular piece of calico,
upon which is embroidered -
"I WAS BORN SICK
BUT I LOVE IT"

unknown
Cartoon
Charlie Brown snuggled up in bed looking worried;
in a speech-bubble are the words in capitals -
"I'M ALREADY TIRED TOMORROW."

 artist/© unknown
unknown
Objet d'art
A mock-up of an orange & cream-striped, vintage Penguin paperback:
the main title in bold font is -
"YOUR SHITTY
BODY & YOU:"
then the sub-heading in normal font -
"A GUIDE TO GIVING UP";
below this are the words "COMPLETE" AND "UNABRIDGED"
either side of a penguin icon .

© Semi-Professional Pictures (New Zealand)
Film Poster 
Horror-film genre poster of a spooky house bursting out of barren land and dead looking trees,
held by a skeletal, bony, scary hand.

artist/© unknown
title unknown (#7)
Photograph
In a background of deep black, a seated man in pale blue boxer-shorts,
bandages around his diaphragm, right shoulder & upper arm, right thigh and right lower leg,
looks downcast and is completely shrouded in spider-like webbing.

unknown
Photograph b/w
 A thin, bespectacled, bearded & naked man sits on a bar-stool in a tiny, cluttered kitchen;
he faces the observer/photographer whilst leaning on the breakfast-bar;
prominently, a pair of modern crutches lean on the bar also, at the end nearest the viewer. 

artist/© unknown
title unknown (#8)
Photograph
The top three-fifths of the image is dominated by a huge, floor-to-ceiling painting
of a young man lying & leaning atop another man - they are either wrestling or engaging in coitus;
apart from the flesh tones of the bodies the colours are sombre blues, greys & browns;
the lower fifth is a floor of cardboard & masking-tape covered in the detritus of painting, e.g. gloves, rags, paint;
in the gap between the flooring and the painting lies a man in a prone position;
he wears black plimsolls, grey jeans and a black sweater with right sleeve rolled up to the elbow;
the man's face is turned away from the viewer/photographer;
two turned-on fans stand on the floor blowing air towards the painting. 

Pascal Mouawad (Lebanon)
Untitled
Sculpture
On a cloudy, wintry beach, constructed from sand, the horizontal head of screaming man, eyes rolling.
is stretched and distorted as pulled out of the sand.

I very much feel and believe and quite frankly know that the art-world more often than not lets down one section or another of the so-called disabled community. I have also written "Art for All", which the reader may find of interest.

Additionally, in March I published a post entitled "Towards a Theory of Art" which the reader may also find of interest.

*

As per previous years the archive for BADD2016 is being hosted by Goldfish on Diary of a Goldfish and is being administered by her and her hubby, Mister Goldfish. There one can find previous years' full archives as well as this year's as it grows over the next few days. Please do take a look - one is bound to find something that is of interest or piques one's curiosity!