No good deed goes unpunished

"No good deed goes unpunished"

[English Proverb]

[Image description: statue of Christ paraded through Arroyo de la Miel]

Easter is a time when many ponder death, due to Christ's crucifixion. This Lenten period, Death unfortunately visited my family.

A few weeks ago my Grandmother died. It was not an unexpected event, for she had been sent to a nursing home for palliative care. Nonetheless, I still found the news a terrible shock. Her funeral was held a week last Friday. Saturday gone was the last day I shed a wee tear. On Sunday I woke up and felt my old self again: upbeat, optimistic and happy. After a month it seems that the time for mourning and crying is over. For all things there is a season as per the author of Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 so well wrote æons ago -

There is a time for everything,

    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,

    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

    a time to kill and a time to heal,

    a time to tear down and a time to build,

    a time to weep and a time to laugh,

    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

    a time to search and a time to give up,

    a time to keep and a time to throw away,

    a time to tear and a time to mend,

    a time to be silent and a time to speak,

    a time to love and a time to hate,

    a time for war and a time for peace.

       ……

Well, the funeral service was lovely: the minister had us crying, laughing, smiling, recalling Grandma. And I managed to say my own personal goodbye - somewhat histrionic; but thankfully the vast majority of mourners had exited.

I also succeeded in avoiding the evil clutches of my Mater; partially by  my companion permitting me to be rude and avoid crossing her path.

What is awful is that two of Gran's children did not attend (though one is actually recovering from a very serious op, which is fair enough; the other due to a family dispute!), nor two of her grandchildren (my two siblings), and none of her great-grandchildren (although two thirds are not children any more). This is given that my assistant made it from Basle and I from Málaga; but others could not make it across England…

I know my family is highly dysfunctional; but where was/is the respect for someone who gave so much, and so much love? All the good my Grandma did and at the very end she was disrespected, unappreciated and unloved by so many family members.

*

The next day I was mortified to discover my third Grandma (complicated story!) died last year; neither my Pater, my Mater, my uncle nor my aunt bothered to apprise me - how wicked, in my opinion! Felt like I had had a punch to the stomach… I did say my family is dysfunctional! At the time I was both upset and then really angry. I knew I had to let my emotions return to some kind of equilibrium before contacting the family. As I said above, on Sunday I thought myself to have achieved same; so I wrote to my family.

Dear [uncle], [aunt], [cousin] & [cousin],

After the funeral of my Grandma X, I received an added shock of discovering that Gran Y had died last year. I do not know when exactly, as no-one apprised me. Had I known at the time I of course would have made an attempt to pay my respects. As it is, I now take this opportunity to express my sympathies to you all.

Despite multiple attempts at contacting Gran, she never reciprocated. The last time I spoke to her I refused to reveal a matter involving another member of the family, in order to protect them. As they say, “No good deed goes unpunished.” Nonetheless, I never stopped loving and missing Gran and keeping her in my prayers.

I hope she is at peace now; perhaps, who knows, even with Grandad.

Yours,

I certainly do not anticipate receiving a response. I suppose one really is not required.

*

When my sister met her current husband, I loaned them some money interest-free in order that they could afford a mortgage and purchase the house with which they had fallen in love. When my first nephew was born, I took him out every Saturday. And when his brother was born, I alternated with my parents; so that my sister and brother-in-law could have time for themselves. But a little before my eldest nephew's fifth birthday, my sister fell out with me and never let me again see my nephews. She later fell out with her father-in-law, my Pater, and so on…

In September last year, now my eldest nephew has attained majority, I contacted him via facebook. Over the next six months we occasionally exchanged messages. In February I sent the following:

Hi Z,

I have been In Andalusia nigh on a month now. Settled into my apartment and cleaned it. And cleaned it again. Finally feel it's my (temporary) home. I am in Spain until mid May for health reasons - I come out every winter. I have this apartment till the end of April. After that I shall travel through Spain, heading North to Santander to catch the ferry back to England.

I do not know your position, whether in education or employment: however, if you wish to come out here for a few days, there is a spare bedroom. I'll feed and water you and can meet you at the airport. You'd just have to pay for your flights, etc.
If not possible this year, then something to perhaps bear in mind for future years.

Right-ho: time to eat my cake and finish my glass of wine…

 Your Uncle Colin %)

The lad's response was to block me with no explanation. I have no idea what the issue is: but it is certainly downright bad manners to fail to respond to an invitation whether positively or negatively.

*

These are just three examples from my own family where a good deed has ended up causing me more trouble. I suppose the point about the extract from Ecclesiastes is that there is a time for everything. Alas, we mortals can never know the right time to take action or to refrain from doing so. Even if we are not punished by some anthropomorphic god, we punish ourselves. But really, all we can do is make the best decision we can at any given moment with the information we have at the time. Hindsight might assist us in making better decisions in the future - but not always or even consistently. My advice - which of course no-one will heed - is do your best always and then you never have to beat yourself up over the repercussions.

Where’s the Culture in Benalmádena?

Since finally succeeding in tracking down a guide to cultural events for the first three months of 2015 in Benalmádena, I had been looking forward to Bach’s Goldberg Variations being interpreted on piano via José Luis de Miguel Ubago.

*

One would have thought that Benalmádena being a tourist town that the tourist information office would be the place to go to obtain the aforesaid brochure. In previous years this had been my source of such information. But you would be very wrong. The second week I was here - in January, recall - I paid a visit only to be informed that there would be no more information guides until April and those - rather obviously - for the following quarter. Not to be stymied, I thought I would try the Castillo Bil-Bil, the venue for many recitals and gallery showings. There was one on the attendant’s desk; but it being their last one I did not wish to take it.  Next I visited the Casa de la Cultura (“House of Culture”) in the centre of Arroyo de la Miel (which co-incidentally perhaps, also contains the chambers of the town’s mayor). Piles of the brochures were liberally placed on the table set aside for information on tourist attractions.

[Image description: poster displaying the council's coat of arms]

I approached the desk and asked to purchase a ticket for the piano concert. I was informed that I would have to return the Monday prior to the concert, i.e. 16th February. Naturally I did so, this time to be apprised that entrances could be purchased solely two hours before the performance. Apparently the event had nothing to do with the town hall, who had merely rented out the castillo to the event’s organisers. In that case I have to ask why the event appeared in the official brochure of cultural events and why the programme and posters are emblazoned with “Ayuntamiento [Town Hall] de Benalmádena: Delegación de Cultura”. Seemingly someone at the town hall wanted the credit for the event, but none of the responsibility.

In the week after obtaining my hen’s-tooth guide, I revisited the tourist information office to let them know that there were plenty of brochures available in the commercial town centre. The officer was somewhat irked for, as she pointed out, in the space set aside for cultural events, there was not even a poster, a flier, nor a list.

Given that tourism is a very major part of the economy of Benalmádena, it is incomprehensible to me to understand the lackadaisical attitude towards apprising tourists of actually what is going on in the municipality and making it as simple and as easy as possible to attend events. This latter situation had been my experience in previous years: so why the deterioration?

Goodness knows what impression any tourists may have taken back to their respective countries and what messages they may disseminate.

*

José Luis de Miguel Ubago has won many prizes and studied with many fine pianists. He is now a professor of piano in Granada. I was expecting great music. I was to be sorely disappointed. I suspect the pianist misinterpreted the Goldberg Variations as the Cold Berg or Iceberg Variations. Music played competently enough, but with no passion; hardly a flicker of emotion expressed itself in the mien of José Luis. Occasionally the tiniest crack of a smile (assuming it was not wind); but for the most part the player looked as if he were sucking a giant gobstopper. He thrashed at the keyboard, apparently having no lightness of touch - and yes, I could see his playing reflected in the lid of the piano. At one point I stood up to see whether he was actually using the pedals - and he was! Perhaps the instrument itself was a tad out of tune, for the music emitted was harsh on the ears - some of the sharps far so; some of the flats likewise!

[Image description: the phlegmatic pianist]

After thirty minutes of intense patience the audience spontaneously broke out into mass fidgeting. By this time, on the row in front of me: one man had dropped off to sleep; an unconnected lady played with her smartphone; and another woman at the far end of the row decided that the contents of her handbag were far more entertaining. After fifty minutes two folk left and another two five minutes later. When José Luis decided to do one of the variations as his encore, I myself made a dash for the exit. What was so surprising were the folk who stood to applaud the chap: they really must be desperate for any culture to put up with and appreciate such perfunctory offerings. Interestingly only one person uttered “Bravo” and sotto voce it should be noted. There was no heart-felt cheering.

If the concert had been a compact-disc, I should not have purchased it.

[Image description: the piano in situ]

Meson Tío Blas, Arroyo de Miel, Benalmádena: a Review

[Image description: toasting at table]

What does one do of a Wednesday evening in a fishing town? Correct: one seeks out the best fish restaurant the town has to offer - well according to one’ s local chums! Oddly, this eatery is not in or around the world-class marina & port of Benalmádena; nor on the front by the splendid beaches; but rather in the commercial district, better known as Arroyo de la Miel. The name is Meson Tío Blas, or Tío Blas for short (which is how it is known on Tripadvisor). It can be found at number 3 on Calle Poleo. It is a short walk from the local train-station or the centre of arroyo if taking the ‘bus or car. As far as I know it does not have its own website, so here is the local telephone number for making enquiries and reservations: 952-44-14-33.

My friends and I arrived at exactly the same time as a separate party, but the eponymous owner ensured all were personally greeted and led to table. Blas is unassuming and, rare for a restaurateur, a tad shy, which to some might come across as surliness; but mention your appreciation of the food cooked by his own fair hand and his mien breaks into a smile.

For starters our quartet shared a large platter of the house salad (ensalada de la casa, grande, @ €6), an assemblage of: grated carrot; grated (fresh & sweet) beetroot; lettuce; tomato; tuna and onion. Not a scrap was left. For mains, two of the party opted for cod served with a cheese sauce (bacalao con queso @ €10). We all sampled. The two that ordered were delighted with their selection; but for me the cheese over-powered the flavour of the delicately cooked cod steaks, although the dish as a whole was deliciously light and creamy in texture. My Spanish friend, Ana, is - surprisingly for this part of Spain - no fan of cod, only consuming it when in Cuba. However, knowing the reputation of Blas, she plunged for the bacalao a la plancha (@ €6). She devoured it whilst reminiscing about her Cuban holidays. I opted for my favourite Andalusian fish-dish, jibia frita (@ €6.75), that is deep-fried cuttlefish. I wolfed it down as fast as etiquette and conversation would permit!

[Image description: empty plates, a tell-tale sign of a good meal]

No-one had room for desert, we were so full. However, we did succeed in swallowing two bottles of semi-seco, medium-dry, Freixenet Cava (@ €14).

The total bill came to under €72 for two courses each and the equivalent of half-a-bottle of sparkling wine apiece. Including tip this worked out at €20 per head. A bargain!

Totally recommend. %P

La Huerta, Arroyo de la Miel, Benalmádena: Review

Regular readers of this blog will by now have realised I am currently in Spain. Whilst the Spanish are trying to catch up, the infrastructure companies are dallying in rolling out modern, fast internet (amongst other telecommunications difficulties - just try getting a telephone line!). I have had to hunt hither & thither for a good wifi connection. In the hotel it costs me €20/week and is slower than the 1.5 Mb/s I get back home! So I found a zona wifi gratuita - free wifi - at La Huerta tapas-bar.

The staff are lovely. The food even lovelier. And I should never in a million years have thought to chill Rioja; but mmmmmmmm how it works! A glass of wine and a tapas costs typically about €4-5, depending on what you select.

I had best also point out that I have not used La Huerta once without a local or tourist starting me up in conversation. It is that kind of friendly place.

Of course, I recommend. I visit once to twice each week. And by the by, their espresso - or café solo corto - is delicious: just do not let on to the owner that the barman makes the better cup! ;)

[Image description: external front façade]

[Image description: barman & owner; they insist they are both tasty

but I have not licked them to determine if this is so!]

[Image description: magro {thigh jamón} con tomate]

[Image description: my favourite of their dishes, pulpo a la Galega

- don't ask what it is, just try it!]

[Image description: salchichones with chilled Rioja]

Enjoy!

%P

Matahambre, Arroyo de la Miel, Benalmádena: Review

After a Friday night jazz concert in February in Benalmádena's cultural centre (in Arroyo de la Miel) ending at ten in the evening, my companion Ana & I were ready for some nosh (food). In Spain that is just about peak time for dinner, so we were surprised that Matahambre (which literally means "kill hunger"!) were able to fit us in; but they squeezed us into a corner. There is outside seating and it was totally available, but it was a tad too cool to sit outside at that time of night.

Inside looks like a mediæval cellar; but I am reliably informed that the décor is all new for this latest of hip eateries in the town's commercial district.

[Image description: inside the restaurant just before midnight!]

In the above photograph one can see top left, goat's cheese salad (@ €7.50/media ración), and top right, partridge salad (@ €8.25/media ración). Having been charged €6 for a simple green salad of lettuce & cucumber in one of the beach-front restaurants, I feel taking into account their size, cost, quality and presentation were well worth the pennies spent. Neither of us finished our salads, but the staff were more than happy to make doggy bags for the both of us.

And why did we not finish such delicious food you may well ask: well, we had seen the desert menu and dishes being served up to table. We two chocoholics had set our hearts on sampling the triple chocolate cake (@ €4.75) - and we were not in the least disappointed.

Two glasses of wine, two waters and a Fanta limón after two hours of gossiping came to €10, the going rate at most cafés, bars and restaurants.

[Image descriptions: Ana & the writer enjoying the TRIPLE CHOCOLATE cake!]

The service from the guapo waiters & managers (who were chucking in their hands too) was at times a tad dilatory, but given the place was packed to the rafters hardly astonishing.

I shall definitely be returning to Matahambre again to sample more delights from their extensive menu. This tapas restaurant is a MUST for any visitor to Benalmádena! %D

Mister Noodles, Arroyo de la Miel, Benalmádena: Review

At the end of January, I had the pleasure of seeing re-interpretations of Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker in Torremolinos with my friend Ana. We promised ourselves a treat after the programme at Mister Noodles on the high street in Arroyo de la Miel, the commercial centre of Benalmádena.

At busy times, one has to wait for free spaces at tables - it is that popular. Other than a noodle-bar being a novelty, it is hard to understand such popularity. Whilst the food is tasty, it is pricey for what it is and the service was below par - lackadaisical and a stubborn "can't-do" attitude.

Per the menu:

"Todo servido con salsa a su gusto 

de soja, ostra, agridulce o chilli.

All served with your choice of sauce: soya, oyster, sweet & sour or chilli" (sic)

In actual fact we were given a choice of spicy or not spicy: despite my requests for alternatives (extra ginger), the Asian waitress insisted these were the sole choices.

Spring-rolls, two noodle dishes and two drinks came to €25, roughly what one might expect to pay for a three-course menu del día plus a drink each.

Given this is fast food and requires very little in the way of cooking - everything is simply tossed in a wok for a couple of minutes, it is difficult to see how such high prices can be justified.

Nonetheless, comments and photos on Mister Noodles' facebook page demonstrate that it most certainly is going down a storm.

[Image descriptions: the front façade and terrace of said restaurant]

If you are used to the Thai, Japanese or noodle-bar restaurants back in the UK, it is likely Mister Noodles will be slightly disappointing; but if noodles are a novelty to you, then this is probably a fair primer to the cuisine.

In/accessible Europe (2): Benalmádena (Andalusia)

The silence over the past couple of weeks has been due to my having been on holiday and recovering from it! I paid a visit to somewhere I should dearly love to reside: Benalmádena (Benalmádena), a town very close to the city of Málaga; in other words the Costa del Sol.

[Image description: map of the civic area.]

Monarch Airlines (Monarch)

Monarch is my favourite airline since the demise of British Caledonian (British Caledonian) having also travelled on SAS (In/accessible Europe (1): Stockholm), Austrian Airlines, KLM, Air France, Thomson (the worst ever from my perspective as a disabled passenger - but that's another story!) and naturally British Airways (tho' I prefer to call it London Airways these days...). As a disabled passenger I always feel like royalty for I am regally looked after by Monarch's staff. I need a wheelchair to get to the æroplane (airplane), but can shuffle up the aisle with one stick and holding on to the seats. However, if one is completely chair-bound, they arrange for one to be carried aboard with as much dignity as is possible. Bless them!

Málaga Airport (Málaga Airport)

Once all the argy-bargy (pell-mell) of the passengers who MUST get off the 'plane asap had passed, I arose from my seat, shuffled to the front, et voilà, my wheelchair had arrived with a very pleasant and affable assistant. The assistants sport very distinctive orange & logo'd T-shirts and are always very simpático/a. This time my male assistant went beyond the call-of-duty and not only pushed me past my recently disgorged fellow-passengers and through passport-control like some VIP, but arranged for a luggage trolley for me & my travelling companions and escorted us all to the airport train-station. All this was deserving of a decent 'propina' or gratuity (tip).

Cercanías, the Suburban Railway (Railroad) (Cercanías)

The local trains are fully accessible and very cheap (low-cost) - unlike their British counterparts. Buying a ticket from the machine was straightforward. Wheelie's can pass thro' a gate operated by the friendly assistants. The rest pass thro' electronic gates opened with one's ticket and which give sufficient time for hobblers to shuffle thro'. The surfaces, as in the airport, are all smooth: so no trip-hazards. A lift (elevator) takes one down to the platform, where one finds a plethora of seating whilst one awaits the train's arrival. When it does come (every fifteen mins.) there is a disabled entry-point with low-level access and only the tiniest of gaps. Wheelies should have no difficulty accessing. Apart from wheelie space and seating for disabled/agèd folk, this is also the location of the WC. This is accessible to some wheelies - if you can use a Virgin Trains' loo, you'll be able to use this. And none of that horrid Virgin stench either as these conveniences are always spotless! The destinations are announced in plenty of time in Spanish and then English; but there is also an electronic read-out on the multiple screens throughout the carriages (railcars).

[Image description: schematic map of the local train network.]

Approximately twenty minutes later we arrived at Arroyo de la Miel station, the commercial hub of Benalmádena. This platform seems quite narrow, so I advise that one hangs back whilst the rushers rush off. The lift (elevator) is not well sign-posted, but can be found under the escalator. Take care here if you are a motorised wheelie - use low-speed! If you are in a heavy chair, I should recommend you go up solo due to weight restrictions for this particular lift.

Taxis (Cabs)

Alas, there is no direct route to the taxis directly to the left from the exit of the station. Do not be fooled by what looks like a ramp at the side, it is actually gentle(-ish!) steps. There is an accessible route ahead and round to the left, near the pedestrian crossing. Take your time, there are always loads of taxi-cabs. There is no queueing system either for passengers nor the taxistas. If the drivers do not point to the sequent one, just ask. If one does not speak Spanish, just raise open hands in a pleading gesture and look the row of taxis up and down! Most taxis use a log-book that shows the prices, so one should not be overcharged. All the taxistas I have ever encountered in my twelve visits to Benalmádena have helped with luggage and wheelchairs, etc.

Parque de la Paloma

Our hotel (one really does need to check with individual hotels/apartments whether or not they can accommodate one's needs and one really does need to think this thro' and be specific) was located right next to the Parque de la Paloma (Parque). The park can be very noisy to those not used to fauna as it has a veritable ménagerie of free-roaming wildlife including rabbits, wildfowl, terrapins, peacocks, chickens and a profusion of cacophonous cockerels (roosters) in addition to cooped emus, goats and llamas. Many of the pathways are suitable for wheelies and the mobility-impaired; others require mountaineering skills and/or assistance. Electronic chairs, unless specially adapted/designed, will need to keep to the main paths as the older routes are only gravelled.

There are several cafés within the park environs, some better suited to the needs of the disabled than others. Do not be surprised to see children playing late - it is cooler, Spain is family-friendly and the kiddies will have had a siesta in the afternoon. My photo below is of a café that has ramped access at the back and an accessible toilet.

Paseo Marítimo (esplanade/promenade)

The panoramic view from the balcony of my last hotel overlooked the Mediterranean as well as the long walkway that stretches along most of the Benalmadenan coastline. For much of the way this is marbled and easy to shuffle along on or manœuvre a wheelchair. One of the beaches or 'playas' has disabled parking, and especially adapted showers, WCs and changing facilities. Most of the playas have ramp access - tho' some may be a tad steep for manual wheelies! I have seen wheelchairs left stranded in the sand whilst their previous occupiers lie on a sun-lounger on several of the beaches, for after the ramps many areas have wooden paving to assist one in reaching the playa or a café-bar.

[Image description: view of esplanade looking towards the marina.]

[Image description: the castillo on the promenade.]

My personal favourite beach is the Playa Bil-Bil next to the castillo because I have returned every year to Maracas (Maracas) where I happily sit in the shade - you can choose to sit in the hot sun if you so wish, but do recall Noël Coward's song "Mad Dogs & Englishmen"! - watching the world go by sipping my cafe con leche (white coffee), caña or cerveza (draught or bottled beer), vino tinto (red wine) which comes chilled, or mojito. They also serve a wide selection of non-alcoholic drinks. Or go half-and-half and order a tinto de verano, a chilled mix of red wine & Sprite. Most refreshing! No-one will come to move you on, even if you are there a couple of hours with a single beverage. Alas the WCs here are not accessible to wheelies and some mobility-impaired: so if this is you, don't stay too long...!!!

Arroyo de la Miel

Arroyo, as it is abbreviated to, is the commercial centre of Benalmádena, where the main shopping area is: although, shops can be found almost anywhere. The main areas have either broad pavements (sidewalks) or are pedestrianised. Be careful going up side-streets tho' as the pavements can disappear completely or lack the dropped kerbs (curbs) (hope North American readers understand that term as I have no idea what they are called in the US/Canada) found elsewhere. Also, it is not advisable to wheel on the narrow roads as drivers tend to be impatient with all pedestrians not just the disabled. Expect to be peeped/honked at at some stage and do not take umbrage! Some shops are accessible, others not so. However, if you see something you want but cannot access the store, the assistants are always more than willing to come out to you, at least in my experience.

Arroyo has many eateries. I have used Gambrinus a few times, famed for their Cruzcampo beer but their rosé is good too! Here one has a choice of eating inside with the air-con on or outside with the central heating... Again WCs are not wheelie accessible but the even floors mean they are fine for the mobility-impaired. I have to say I have not yet found any bar/eatery with a wheelchair accessible toilet, so some research will be required prior to visiting if one does not have the constitution of a camel.

Benalmádena Pueblo

Referred to as the Pueblo, this is the administrative part of the town and situated half-way up one of the local mountains. DO NOT try to walk/wheel it. Grab a cab or take the 'bus. There about three 'buses that can drop one off in the Pueblo. The fares are very cheap. And the 'buses can lower to kerb level as well as having a wheelie space and seats for the disabled. The 'bus will conveniently drop you off at a row of shops which are mainly cafe-bars. I always start and stop at the first!

[Image descriptor: me enjoying a glass of chilled wine opposite the Danish institution.]

The Pueblo has recently been remodelled and this has meant the main areas are now disabled-accessible. For many years the Danes have had a recuperation centre (Montebello Institute) here, so one will see lots of disabled folk. Indeed the whole of Benalmádena is much more disabled-friendly than even the city of Málaga, just up the coast. There the inhabitants tend to stare discomfitingly at one; whereas for the Benalmadenans disabled folk are common-place. Indeed the Pueblo actually has a shop on the main through-road (at this point named Calle del Clavel) which has a large window-display of disability aids, footwear, etc. and the staff, as ever, are just lovely as well as helpful.

If you like pizza, then the Italian restaurant next to the Maskar supermarket is a must-visit. When the square outside is not filled with diners enjoying their repasts, it looks like a bit of a rough bar. However, if one walks through it opens up into what one expects an Italian ristorante to look like. However, when it's hot - most of the time - you are more likely to want to sit outside at the front. Recently a wooden sun (rain?) shelter has been erected if one prefers the shade.

One might like a stroll/wheel over to the Parochial Church and the Jardines del Muro. Whilst the gardens are accessible, part of the route is not suitable for those without an assistant to push non-electric chairs. En route pass thro' the Plaza de España to see the famous fountain, el Fuente de la Niña - the symbol of the whole civic area. The effort to get to the gardens is well worth it, especially at night, as one can see for miles/kilometres.

Overall, I adore Benalmádena. Its folk are amiable. It is family-friendly. It is disabled-friendly. It's a great place for a holiday. I came back totally chillaxed. I hope if you visit, you do too. %)