ME

ME

Lying abed

hour after hour

Quotidian longueur

Year follows year

inexorably

A prisoner

trapped in the bed

hidden by the blind

out of sight

outside

I want to be out there

living Life

not feeling ennui

or intermittent despair

Twenty birthdays past

when I was free

to simply be

and I danced then

cutting through

floating on

the air

I lived fully

in my body

running

leaping

flying

swimming

singing

joking

laughing

dancing

experiencing

intense Love

kissing

caressing

developing

affinities

my soul

This body keeps me here now

the flesh that struggles to struggle

no longer able to snuggle

in a lover’s embrace

nor for that matter

in a friend’s hug

This same body that’s killing me

slowly

but oh

 so painfully

Weary spirituality

Hope fades

colour drains

into multiple grey-shades

Insufficient energy

to risk mourning

promises of love

No sensuality

No plans

No Future

No happy-ever-after

Readying pain by pain

for an unsolicited here-after

Longing for much more

to be free

of anomie

of constant yearning

of constant envy

to be pain-free again

to awaken a too long-dormant heart

to experience intimacy

to sleep normally

to once again

read a novel cover to cover

entertain friends to a multi-course dinner

play adult games in bed

spontaneously

to be just the older

perhaps wiser

Me