Tumblr & M.E.

At the beginning of August I wrote a blog-post entitled "Ads Are Killing Tumblr" in which I explained my reasons for departing Tumblr. However, having pondered how Tumblr currently works, I realised I could still use it and avoid the vast majority of advertisements, especially the moving, flickering ones which give me headaches due to neurological issues. I am not going to publicly detail how I get round the ads; but if one sufficiently deliberates the workings of Tumblr, I have no doubt that one will find a way.

So, one may be wondering why I have come back to Tumblr; what attracts me to the site. Well, if you read the aforementioned article, one will be aware that I have a brain issue. I suffer from Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (click on the phrase below for more articles and information), commonly abbreviated to M.E. and known as C.F.S. in the United States. I suffer from progressive aphasia (ICD-10 G31) which leads to an inability to comprehend & formulate language thus difficulties with reading, writing &/or speaking. This symptom without the speech difficulties I also endure is better known as dyslexia (ICD-10 R48), which for me is usually temporary but has lasted for periods of up to six months: sometimes as a result of exertion or post-exertion; at other times for no apparent reason.

Looking at images then means I can continue to stimulate my brain and imagination, even without the abilities to read and write. Also by sharing them, I am able to engage in some social activity (for I am mainly bed-ridden - approximately eighty percent of my time), whereby I can see others sharing the images I have posted to my own Tumblr-blog. For me that is more interaction than I would otherwise experience in my bed-cell. Additionally, this does not drain me emotionally and physically, as would real person-to-person communication and socialising.

Above are some screen-shots of crippledqueeranglo-europeanranter. By clicking on one or other of them, one can obtain a larger image. The site contains images of artworks including paintings, art photography and statuary. I should point out that my tumblr-blog is not safe for work (#nsfw) due to containing nudity and some erotica. So then, if such may shock or even offend the viewer, do not visit my site! Those of you who do take a peek, I hope you enjoy. ;)

Nude Proofs / Pruebas Desnudas

Well, whilst voyaging home, the proofs from mine and others' nude photographic sessions were published on the lovely photographer, Manuel Delgado's blog, Manuel Y Las Junglas De África. Each subject was asked to just be themselves in front of the camera. Bearing this in mind, some of the images may be considered to be sexual. If nudity and overt sexuality might offend, read and look no further and certainly do not click on the link!

In my opinion, the above portrait of myself has really captured my quintessence: anyone who knows me is aware of my hearty laugh and the fact that I enjoy life as much as I am capable of doing and with gusto. Laughter is supposedly good for the bones, so I am going to keep on laughing until my last breath. Besides, my arthritic bones need every assistance they can procure (pun intended).

My gratitude and love to Manuel (pictured below) for making the experience such a delight.

Most of the folk photographed are not known to me; however, one of my Spanish friends has also been the study of Manuel's camera. It is both disconcerting and fascinating seeing someone one knows naked for the first time. I did not know my chum had tattoos for example as the subject had not arisen in conversation. And, naturally, so on…!!! For example, I have to say, I thought, due to his facial hairiness, my chum would be much more hirsute than he is in actuality.

Once the series is complete and Manuel has decided upon his final selections for his series and (hopefully) exhibition, I shall of course apprise you the readers. And who knows, one might even be able to purchase a naked portrait of yours truly to hang on your walls! ;)

Nude Photographic Session

Nearly two years ago I wrote a blog-post on the sensitive photo-art of Manuel Delgado. In a recent article of his own, the wonderfully calming and very affable Manuel (pictured below) put out a request for men to model nude for his latest project.

I come from a family of five in which everyone strolled about the house naked except for yours truly who kept tightly buttoned up in winceyette pyjamas (pajamas). Nudity was not a preferred state of mine. Yes I was the prude of the clan. In fact it has taken me a very long time to relax about my body (I am nearing my half century!). A few years back my then partner and I tried nude sunbathing on a mixed sex, mixed age naturist beach near to Marbella. Interestingly, I was the one who was first to remove his clothing. However, I shall let you into my secret: since being a wee bairn (small lad) whenever I took off my spectacles I believed no-one could see me; a little of this spell still works for me…

Anyhow, it is a big leap from being naked with hundreds of other folk, especially when surrounded by every conceivable shape and size of human being, to being photographed one to one with the potential that the artist can do whatever he likes with the image.

I wrote to Manuel. Here is part of my letter:

Manuel,

¿Podrías estar interesado en un chico con discapacidad, aunque no visible, por tu proyecto fotográfico?

Para mí, mi cama es una celda, una cárcel, por lo que una ‘cama-celda’. Debido a mis diversas discapacidades y enfermedades, la gran mayoría de mi vida se gasta atrapado debajo de las sábanas y dentro de las cuatro paredes de mi dormitorio. La ventana de la habitación me permite ver la vida pasar por mí. A través de ella yo oigo: las voces de niños jugando; mis vecinos disfrutar de festines al fresco; sus coches que llegan y salen, llevándolos a trabajar, el cine, el teatro, ... ; vehículos de reparto con lo que los artículos comprados en las tiendas; aviones teniendo la gente a los lugares lejanos. El paso del tiempo se repite por los cambios de luz y oscuridad. Y todo el tiempo estoy metafóricamente encadenado a mi cama; incapaz de moverme sin causar dolor.

Mi cama es mi comedor, mi baño, mi báter, mi oficina, mi salón, mi gimnasio.

Mi cama es una casa de muñecas.

Mi cama es un microcosmos de toda la vida humana.

Me pregunté si mis posiciónes en la cama sería de interés para ti: durmiendo; descansando con una almohada; trabajando / socializando a través de mi portátil; ejerciciando con mi bastón con ejercicios ideados por mi fisioterapeuta y algunas posiciones de yoga.

Manuel,

Might you be interested in a disabled guy, even if not visibly so, for your photographic project?

For me, my bed is a cell, a gaol; hence a ‘bed-cell’. Due to my various disabilities and infirmities, the vast majority of my life is spent entrapped under the bedclothes and within the four walls of my bedroom. The window in the room allows me to see life passing me by. Through it I hear: the voices of children playing; my neighbours enjoying alfresco repasts; their cars arriving and departing, taking them to work, the cinema, the theatre,…; delivery vehicles bringing goods bought in the shops; æroplanes taking folk to faraway places. The passing of time is iterated by the changes of light and darkness. And all the while I am metaphorically chained to my bed; unable to move without causing pain.

My bed is my dining-room, my bathroom, my toilet, my office, my drawing room, my gym.

My bed is a doll’s house.

My bed is a microcosm of all human life.

I wondered whether my positions abed would be of interest to you: sleeping; resting with a pillow; working/socialising via my laptop; exercising using my walking-stick using exercises devised by my physiotherapist and some yoga positions.

Manuel was delighted to have me on board, but wondered why I was interested. I responded:

Estoy esperando que la sesión fotográfica podría ayudarme a ponerme de acuerdo con mi propia carne.

I am hoping the photographic session could help me come to terms with my own flesh.

Manuel asked me to elaborate:

De hecho, estoy viendo el proyecto como potencialmente poderoso para mí. En los últimos años he estado aprendiendo a enfrentarme a mi pasado, mi psiquis, mi mortalidad, mi aspecto físico (ya que interactúa con el espacio). Ahora tengo que aceptar el cuerpo que me ha fallado, en una manera de hablar. Quiero llegar a un acuerdo con y hacerme amigo de esta carne debilitada y en su defecto, a aceptar que es tan parte de mí como mi mente.

Durante muchos años he estado intelectualmente atraído por la filosofía del holismo. Me parece que ya es la hora de que pongo en práctica la teoría en lo que respecta a mí mismo.

Indeed, I see the project as potentially empowering for me. Over the last few years I have been learning to confront my past, my psyche, my mortality, my physicality (how it interacts in space). Now I must accept the body that has failed me, in a manner of speaking. I want to come to an accord with and make friends with this weak and defective flesh, to accept that it is as much a part of me as my mind.

For many years I have been intellectually attracted to the philosophy of holism. It seems to me that now is the time to put the theory into practice in respect to my self.

On Saturday 15th, in a village-like barrio of Málaga, I entered the space in which the photographs were to be taken having already removed most of my clothing other than my briefs and socks. The photos below demonstrate that depending where in the room one is positioned how one perceives the light. Manuel has set it up so that soft, natural light cascades on to the subject from a slightly raised window. All the background is white, so that flesh tones are enhanced.

Manuel warned me that the session would be quite long lasting up to two-and-a-half hours, which it did. But oddly how speedily time passed. I gradually warmed to Madame Cámara, slowly giving in to her charms until I was directly facing her on my belly, lower legs swinging in the air. I was actually disappointed when the session came to an end.

Liberating. Invigorating. Affirming.

Manuel showed me some of the images he had taken. I teared up, as I had never ever even imagined my body could look æsthetically attractive.

At the end I was permitted to replace my glasses and Manuel took some snaps with my camera. The viewer can perceive just how relaxed I was. These are not positions that were taken in the main session; but they give a sense of how the scene was set up and the wonderful colours.

[WARNING: nude images below]

Me - beautiful !?!

The Compassionate Photo-Art of Manuel Delgado

A couple of days ago, by happenstance, I came across a lovely photo by a Malagueño (a resident of Málaga in Andalusia) though originally from Cáceres (a mediæval city in Extremadura). His name is Manuel Delgado. But it is the photograph of his visage and mien that drew me in.

I have since written to this sensitive artist with my interpretation of the image:

"I love your profile photograph with the come-hither demeanour (well to my eye anyhow!). I cannot decide whether the pillow iterates this position or contrariwise it adds a sensitive perspective of a more vulnerable self. The red of the fabric of your attire, the peach of the pillow and the orange tones of your skin all underscore the passionate. You do not state the colour of your eyes. Initially I thought they were black, but on a closer look they appear hazel. Whilst your mouth is definitely not forming a smile, I suspect those lips do so more than do not. I really like this photo."

Some artists can be a tad prickly about interpreting their work. Personally, I write poetry, it does not bother me what interpretation the reader places on the poem. It means what it does to me. But like a child, it has its own personality and must be allowed the freedom to express itself. Thankfully Manuel took no umbrage whatsoever at my comments.

The portrait had a link to Manuel's photographic website (Manuel Delgado) where copies of his works can be purchased. I am slightly hesitant to add below some of his œuvre, because Manuel wants to see which images I have chosen - no pressure then!

The first is from a series entitled "Banderas" ("Flags") (#27):

This initially made me think of the UN flag; but it is also reminiscent of imperial banners with eagles and such like upon them. Some of the flags look almost recognisable; others are more abstract: but they fascinate nonetheless. Personally, methinks the collection should be viewed as a complete corps to extract full meaning and significance. So why not take a good gander (scrutinise them)?

Next photo is from a compelling (for me) series taken of just one spot on a pavement, "Pasos en la acera" (Steps):

Naturally, this completely appeals to my OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). However, additionally, it speaks to me of notions of time & space, transience and the ephemeral; and, more specifically, reminded me about humanity's recent appearance in geological/cosmological time. Of course, to you they may hint at something entirely different!

My next choices are from a series called "La Habitación Secreta" or "The Secret Room" (Room). The images include nudity and subjects that some may take offence at. If so, cease reading this article at this point.

What I find interesting about these images is that they have caught men in quotidian activities that are rarely photographed. Manuel, however, demonstrates an honesty and frankness in this series that recounts a complete narrative without cloying romanticism nor Hollywood glitz nor pornographic brashness. I suspect he has a compassion almost tenderness for his subjects. This is rare as many photographers aim for the photojournalistic dispassion that merely observes rather than interacts with its subject.

And finally, just to demonstrate that the artist is not afraid of colour, here is one from his series "Trabajo en la calle" or "Work on the street" (Workers), Estela the florist:

If one has been to Málaga, one will be all too aware of the wonderful array of blooms available from the street vendors, particularly in the old historic part of the city.

I hope Manuel approves of my choices. I hope the reader's interest has been sufficiently piqued that s/he will want to visit Manuel's web gallery. %)