At a later date, I want to talk about representation of older LGBTI folk. Here, I want to discuss my youth in the context of the video above, sampled from Season 3 of the Norwegian (hello Norway!) show "Skam" (https://tv.nrk.no/serie/skam - alas blocked outside of the Scandic countries due to music industry complaints about ©).
In some ways, I wish I could have my youth again. Although, I should want to retain the knowledge & confidence I have now. However, whilst matters are still very difficult for very many queer youngsters (check out school-bullying figures!), in some ways it is easier to come out for folk today. Back in the extremely queer-hating, homophobic 1970s & 1980s, where homosexuals usually died or were the baddies in films (movies) or were over-the-top camp like Mr. Humphries and Larry Grayson (both of whom used to make me roar with laughter!), one would hardly find a single relative or friend, and certainly no organisations, who might support one's coming-out.
Nonetheless, whilst I did not feel I could take affairs as far as today's youth seem able - probably due to my own contingency, ridiculously misplaced respect for authority and the social mores of the time - I do not regret the almost innocent cuddles, embraces, caresses, the deliberate-accidental touches and so forth with my crushes and especially not with my first male lover.
If my life had not followed the trajectory it did, I should not be the person I am today. For all my wistful, wishful thinking (cue China Crisis!) I am a contented and for the most part happy chap, despite what life has sent my way.
To anyone out there reading this, young or old, if you need to talk about coming out, I can be here for you - you just might have to wait a while for a response due to my long bouts of ill-health. There are, however, plenty of organisations out there who can support you both at the personal and professional levels. Come on now, you can google as well as anyone!
To be honest, I have never actually come out, as I have never seen the need to do so. I have always gone by accept me as I am or not at all. One of my siblings refuses to have anything to do with me whatsoever, for s/he objects to my 'lifestyle', not that said person knows the least bit about it - unless secretly reading my public writings. My parents never had any respect for me, and I certainly have/had none at all for them - deeply flawed and quite wicked individuals - so I had absolutely no wish to come out to them. This was not out of fear, rather that I have refused to share most of me with them since being a small boy. Yes, I was that bookish introvert who refused to speak to relatives he rarely encountered. Anyhow, today I OFFICIALLY come out as being QUEER. There, I have done it - and publicly. I am fifty-two and out-of-the-closet. Hee, hee, hee… %DDDDD
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Wishful Thinking
It's time we should talk about it
There's no secrets kept in here
Forgive me for asking
Now wipe away your tears
And if I wish to stop it all
And if I wish to comfort the fall
It's just wishful thinking
I sat on the roof
And watched the day go by
I see the likeness in his smile
And the way he stands
Makes it all worth while
Written by Eddie Lundon, Gary Daly • Copyright © BMG Rights Management US, LLC, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
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