[Image description: "Michael" a portrait of a hirsute, muscled, bespectacled man,
naked but for a skimpy pair of white briefs; courtesy & © Mr. Jo Ji]
*
Michæl
"he did not presume to pronounce a reviling judgement upon him"
(Jude nine)
*
thud, thud, thud
dance music pounds out
trendy café-bar
youth's cultists
surround
momentarily alone
in the crowded space
a table is vacated
straddling a seat
taking a place
looking out
away from the animated
laughs
frowns
the vociferous longings of desire
staring through the sheet-glass
over the car-park
where myriad lights shimmer or twinkle
calm
inner silence
an eternity
an instant
and it is broken
two male lovers
take the chair beside me
one spoons into the other's lap
distracted by presence
uncomfortable proximity
I turn around
sipping at my Seltzer
punctiliously
glancing at the next two
approaching new arrivals
surreptitiously
half-recognising
yet unsure
the mien opposite mine
strikes a chord
half-remembered
almost recalled
but from where
not from…
nor from…
from…
maybe?
enlightenment
creeps stealthily
and jumps out
of course!
a party long before
six months ago
or thereabouts
it must be
attempting to catch his eye
noticing his orbs remain
unblinkingly
downcast
and cast down
toying with his Bier
cheeks
erubescent
blushing cognisance
or the flush of alcohol
deliberate avoidance
or does he just not know?
his charming, attractive partner
crosses his legs protectively
so no inadvertent touching
uses his expression
the sour scowl of one confident of possession
to parry
advances on his spouse
my pal returns
settles down
in a chair
drawn up to table
the two who are one
and the two who are two
the four
and we two
six in silence
thud, thud, thud
moments race
then dawdle maddeningly
rising from my chair
walking around to him
two eyes remain cast down
staring at the now tepid liquid
eight eyes follow
a look of mistrust from the lover
a look of misapprehension from the paired lovers
a look of curiosity from the friend
oblivious he
down
towards his unproffered ear
I bend
are you…
something of a god
jet hair
bronze skin
piercing sapphire
enchanting emerald
or flashing ruby
opals
♦
perhaps an angel
come to wage war
on the dragon
or what menace
what powers of evil
a holy warrior
♣
Israel's sar
a guardian of the innocent
a defender of justice
whose scales you hold in your hands
eliciting
repentance
righteousness
mercy
sanctification
in their secular guise
confession
Sabbathiel
Beshter
Mik'al
now commonly Michæl
so many names
for such an ancient presence
irony or predestiny
your namesake
the patron of your chosen profession
excuse me
are you…
a policeman
he recalls our meeting
in detail
not as drunk as I thought
now
then
thud, thud, thud
my sex-life as empty as ever
standing in an alien kitchen
a friend of a friend
who was invited
too abashed
to approach any of these strangers
the would-be movers and shakers
of Granada television production
smiling from embarrassment
at all and sundry
a lipstick lesbian duo
take me under their wing
chatting away
insignificant minutiæ
banality repels isolation
I didn't see him
enter
a rather tall
dark
handsome chappy
it transpired
a policeman
novel chat-up line
"puffa-jackets are passé now,
aren't they?"
cringing as
speaking
if only
but somehow
despite ineptitude
we
connect
he gave me his number
…then blurted
he has a partner
with whom he is in love
♥
drop by drop
with the effects of alcohol
he became a little irritable
by degrees
he began to display
a sadistic streak to his nature
♠
decision-time
continue to pursue
on the off-chance of
a fella to fellate
or to discreetly back off
cowardice or valour
my best interests
leave him be
later that night
after having bopped away
I sat down for a rest
on one of a pair
of unoccupied chairs
shutting my eyelids
- suddenly
a hand gripped my thigh
firmly
tenderly
opening my eyes
to see him
kneeling
on the floor
beside me
in a maudlin state
I pressed him
I did implore
sit in the empty chair
next to me
the other party-goers
were in the main
hetero
such extravagant behaviour
attracting
unsolicited attentions
once
a decorous amount of time
had elapsed
I got up
went into
another room
✒
just before
we were about to depart the party
suddenly re-appearing
he hugged me
tightly
tenderly
then dashed
through the front-door
of the apartment
knocked two blokes
at the top of the stairwell
stumbled down the stairs
staggered at the bottom
and then
ran off down the street
needless to say
though I very much wanted to
and even worked out scripts for
his answering
his partner answering
an answer-machine
answering
I did not telephone him
thud, thud, thud
in Paradise
primal rhythms
extricate
dance
worship to hedonism's
natural endorphin fate
glimpsed again
he regarding me
and the partner looking on
rather irate
and then gone
as the image of the archangel
in the burning bush
but you remain
a prince of light
in my dreary
mundane life
you remembered me
so
I must have made
an impression
your smile
your glances
tell me
♡
remembrance
tantamount to love
but isn't that
a necessary part
of training
a police-officer
to recollect
remember
me
I turn to dance again
listen to the music
thud, thud, thud
*
Today is my blog's fifth birthday. I am not up to writing my usual analysis of the blog's stats, etc. Hopefully, readers will be content with an old poem I wrote in the 90s prior to my disablement. I do not take readers for granted; so thank you all for visiting and reading. %)
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