Artistic Doubts

The following are some questions and some responses to the artistic doubts of a friend. I am publishing them as they may be useful to other artists, whatever their medium. For context purposes, it may be useful to know: he is primarily a visual artist; I am primarily a poet with some experience in visual arts.

The Questions

“I'm thinking about my appreciation and desire to be a positive artistic force. Is it enough for me to just include diverse bodies in my art? Do I need to do less of the stereotypical beautiful and desirable people? Should I feel guilty that I don't do more? And how do artists bridge the gap between the art they create, which may be due to sell-ability or accessibility of models, and their own values and desires? … And, does my art have to reflect me?” JB

The responses

My uncle and two of my cousins are printers: they can produce very arty looking stuff using other works. So, perhaps my background has tainted my perspective of what is Art. They produce beautiful stuff, but being æsthetic in itself does not (in my mind) make something Art. They do not see themselves as artists. They are craftsmen who know how to make things look lovely so that they sell. They in turn can make a living.

Artists should be able to make a living: but the primary function must be to pursue Art, their Art.

Bodies: you have shown a range of ethnicities/races and body shapes. I should suggest doing some extra large and ultra skinny (size-ism works both ways) bodies, which would add to your artistic reputation. Also, maybe use disfigured/amputated individuals and those with vitiligo. But that is your choice. You have the freedom to pursue a broader range, as you are not primarily needing to make a living out of your Art.

Guilt: guilt that makes you feel down is of no use; guilt that is perhaps a prompt to move or change direction can be a positive.

Desires: some artists never move out of their comfort zone, sticking to what they know and like. I think you have to have some passion for your subject or if, not for the subject, be really excited to use your style & techniques - otherwise an undesired subject-matter would stymie.

Out-put: how can you possibly feel guilty about your œuvre! You are prolific given you work full-time. Also, life-work-art-partner have to be kept in balance.

Pride: I only believe in pride in as much as it ensures a good amour-propre. Pride that gets in the way is of no use to one-self nor to others. It leads to arrogance and a lack of sympathy, let alone empathy. So, someone with a well-balanced level of pride can listen to and accept constructive criticism; someone with out-of-kilter pride cannot. Positive pride wants the criticism to help the artist move forward and develop.

Semantics: how are people viewing the artist’s work and what does the Art mean? I suspect only you can truly know the initial meaning. In your case, if you do not think that your work truly reflects what you think, feel, want, do, only you are in a position to do something about that. In the UK we quite often use the analogy of a football team: eleven players, standing in a line. Most of the players will have a middling view and a couple each of players will be more extreme and have opposing views. In other words: whatever one does, it will be interpreted and misinterpreted by others.

I write poetry. Once my poems are published I treat them as children who have grown up and left the nest. They are their own entities. Some readers will like; some dislike; some will be ambivalent. It does not matter to me. I have done what I had to do, due to passion; and, I have intellectually accepted that I took the poem as far as I could, to where I want/ed it to be.

Whatever work an artist produces will always be contingent. Art MUST be done for the artist one-self: whether to express meaning or to follow the flow of one’s Art. Art is intrinsically selfish, egocentric in its outpouring. Its use is a different issue. Even if one has good intentions for one’s work, it is still the ego that processes and then outflows into creativity. The making of Art cannot be self-less; the use to which Art is put can be. But your intellect is also part of yourself and connects to ego. If you decide on an intellectual level that you wish to broaden your subject-matter, and if that is a genuine desire, then your emotions should kick in and you will feel passionate towards the work. On the other hand, if your brain says do such and such, but your heart is not in it, then the work will not happen, or at least not in a personally meaningful way. Doesn’t mean it won’t sell though! My personal opinion is that one should highlight failures occasionally, just to remind oneself of where things can go awry.

If you desire to do something, do it. It is your choice what to draw & paint. It is your choice to continue with an artwork or discard it. It is your choice whether to reveal and display at a later point. It is all your choice.

[Image description: the writer looking doubtful.] 

Proffered Thighs: a Poem

proffered thighs

pronated palms

approaching bend

in anticipatory arc

moulding to a perfect fit

the outline

of your proffered thighs

smoothing faded denim

over firm flesh

feline acceptance

of the invoked stroke on

skin and muscle

the stout quadriceps

of your proffered thighs

radiating warmth

and virile strength

prepared for perversion’s caress

crotch to pants’ seat

stepping closer

front to back

with vampiric stealth

nostrils to trapezius

breathing in

your man-musk

orbiting hands

gliding under

weighing up

your proffered thighs

pressing solid hamstrings

proving talent

and I begin to grind

feeling your upper legs

tighten under my weight

relax

then taut again

in a few moments

the deed is done

so now I play memory over

pondering

your proffered thighs

[Image description: a denim-clad thigh]

Many apologies for the lack of blog-posts. I have several drafts saved and notes for other articles. Alas, I have just not been sufficiently capable of working on my writings due to ill-health. Nonetheless, I wanted to continue my tradition of posting a poem as the first article of a new year. I hope you all are faring well. Thank you for reading.

My Myalgic Encephalomyelitis - My M.E.

Whilst my arthritides have been better this year, due to the unusual warmer, drier weather we have experienced, the Myalgic Encephalomyelitis has been its typical pain-in-the-derrière.

Apparently, for the first time I attended the annual choral Saint Nicholas concert on my own two pins rather than in my wheelchair. And I even managed to send Christmas-cards too - and prior to the actual holidays!

But all too often I have been trapped abed, unable to experience Life. I have it fortunate, for although my condition is considered “severe”, I am not in the most severe category.

The worst 25% of severe are: trapped abed always; eyes covered in blind-folds; ears covered in noise-cancelling head-phones; drip-fed; and, unable to be touched.

M.E. is not about being tired all the time. It is not a psychiatric illness as the UK’s psycho-cabal (along with their colleagues in Holland & Denmark) would have us believe. It is a multi-systemic, neurological disease (recognised for decades as such by the WHO, currently under ICD-10 G93.3). There are 106 conditions on my health spreadsheet; 104 are connected with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. Only three are related to sleep. Under the WHO’s ICD-10 I have conditions under sections I, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XVIII & XIX.

[Image description: woman in black, sitting on a park-bench, looking out at a frozen landscape. It reads:

HAVING M.E. IS LIKE SITTING ALONE ON A BENCH WATCHING AS YOUR LIFE PASSES YOU BY & WAITING TO BE ASKED TO PARTICIPATE AGAIN. ]

For me it is the slow-death of Life being sucked away long before my time is due. It is being in constant - medically unmanageable - pain. Sometimes the pain-levels are acute and I am left to suffer. It is not knowing from one day to the next what one will be capable of doing. It is the neglect by the medical establishment of patients and the disease itself. The MRC & the NHS invest almost nothing, despite there being some 250,000 people with M.E. (#pwME) in the UK. It is the failure of the MSM to investigate, nor even to accurately report stories, failing almost invariably to check the facts.

M.E. kills - slowly, torturously, ceaselessly!

This is my M.E.

My Sexual Health Review

No wonder folk do NOT go to STI/GUM clinics: I have had to make three separate visits because my local clinic (the sole clinic in Trafford), serving some 230,000 adults, do not make appointments and it’s first-come-first-served, mornings only, Monday-Friday. No afternoons. No evenings. No weekends.

[image description; banana & two kiwis]

Finally I managed to have the Hepatitis B jab and the test for Hepatitis C, which my G.P. wanted. Also I was advised to have a Hepatitis A jab as well. Apparently it can be passed via sex and not just from contaminated water or foodstuffs, such as seafood. My G.P. didn’t know that! However, Manchester is currently in the grips of a Hep. A “epidemic” (their word not mine). You may wish to consider getting your own jab!

G.P. practices are now expected to run early morning, evening and weekend appointments to fit around patients’ needs. Folk are having sex round the clock, so the clinics ought to have much more extended hours. This could also reduce the need for folk to use A&E departments. Oh, that’s right, our area doesn’t even have one of those now!

***

Just received the results from my sexual-health check:

Chlamydia - negative

Gonorrhœa - negative

Hepatitis A - negative

Hepatitis B - negative

Hepatitis C - negative

HIV - negative

Syphilis - negative

Big sigh of relief!

I always practise safer sex/safe sex, but there is also invariably a theoretical risk even using condoms.

Please use a condom every time! And get yourself checked! %)

Stonemasons, Timperley Village: a Review

After nigh on thirteen years of residence in West Timperley, I had not actually dined in Timperley Village. A couple of months back I did attempt to eat at the Stonemasons, but found it shut for a further refurbishment. Yesterday my housemate & I finally had reason to have our Sunday luncheon made for us, so telephoned to book a table. Don’t bother unless your party is six or more!

For Sports’ Fans

We turned up about six-thirty, after the late-afternoon soccer on the TV-screens. These cannot be avoided as there are some five displays throughout the pub-restaurant.

Noise Levels

Additionally, music was at a level that anyone with hearing difficulties would struggle to be able to converse. So we shall not be returning with housemate’s Mater! If we want a peaceful repast with good conversation our first choice shall remain as Bramley Farm, our nearest pub-restaurant. We shall, however, be returning to the Stonemasons. Read on to determine why for.

My Meal [image above]

I ordered sirloin steak (rare) which came with roasted cherry tomatoes, peas, chips, mushrooms and onion-rings. The latter I dislike so asked for those to be omitted and pointed out my severe food-allergy. Chef was really diligent, for he came out to check himself that I should be okay with the meal prior to his cooking it. I have had this allergy for about fourteen years and regularly dine out. In all that time only a handful of chefs have come out to speak to me. So top-marks for prudence!

I should say the steak was cooked medium-rare, as there was not a trace of blood - which I should have preferred. Nonetheless it was deliciously tasty - matured for twenty-eight days apparently. The flesh was reddy-brown rather than bright red, which usually demonstrates that it is better meat. It was so easy to cut with the Brazilian steak-knife proffered. A slight amount of gristle & fat - but that helps to give the meat its full flavour. When next I visit I shall be unafraid to order my sirloin bleu (US blue), my preferred manner.

The mushrooms were divine, succulent and full of flavour. The peas were somewhat shrivelled in appearance, but had a good flavour. The tommies were perfectly cooked - firm enough that they did not explode everywhere when poked with the tines of a fork. The chips were fluffy and floury, but slightly on the dry side - but certainly not soggy.

Other than the aforesaid gristle & fat, nothing remained on my plate. I rate the dish as being good.

Companion’s Meal [image above]

My housemate, apart from sampling a little of everything on my plate, actually ordered his own meal: beef & ale pie with chips, sprouts, broccoli florets and juliennes of carrots. It also came with its own little sauce-boat of thick, dark gravy.

The pie was filled to the top of the crust with meat & sauce. My friend did not feel at all cheated. Whilst he enjoyed the “hot-water pastry”, he felt there was far too much of it - not that such prevented him from demolishing the lot and then complaining about being overly full!

Housemate can be a tad fastidious about his veggies, so they must have been on the softer side of al dente otherwise there would have been a whinge! They were all gobbled down as well.

A few spots of gravy and three small chips went back to the kitchen - only because he was full. My friend enjoyed his pie, but he’ll try the chicken one next time as this has a cover of puff-pastry, so should be somewhat lighter on the tummy.

He also rated his meal as good.

Dessert

Housemate insisted he did not want a dessert. I ordered jam rolly-poly with ice-cream to share. There came two slices of a surprisingly light pudding with one scoop of ice-cream, which I split between the two. It certainly was not the stodgy, suet pudding of my childhood. Although it was also not as generous as these puddings of yore in respect to the amount of jam. Nonetheless, a strawberry sauce had been patterned across the plate and its contents to make up for the dearth of jam.

We both rated dessert as good and furthermore we should both happily opt for it on another occasion.

Beverages

Housemate was driving, so was pleased that he could obtain an alcohol-free beer - something many eateries still fail to offer. I had a glass of Prosecco which had a fruity bouquet, but failed to impress the palate. A large glass of Malbec went perfectly with the steak as it had a distinct pepperiness. And thanks to Jack for offering to bring it over as well as taking our second-course order from table.

Take-Away (US Take-Out)

Stonemasons does a fair range of pizzas, made from scratch when ordered. These can be collected for take-away. Looking at the prices, they compare favourably with our current vendor, whose tomato-sauce I cannot have due to my allergy. So, next time we fancy pizza, we shall definitely be trying Stonemasons.

I did not enquire whether other dishes from their large menu can be purchased for take-away.

Staff

I have already mentioned the chef and Jack; but the other staff with whom we came into contact were also affable, professional and personable. Zoey particularly had a good natter with us.

Children & Dogs

Stonemasons is child-friendly, for those who want to take their wee bairns with them. I did not see any hounds, so am unable to comment on the house’s dog policy.

Accessibility

I did not check out the disabled wc, but my carer did so for this review and said it was sufficiently large to turn my above-average sized wheelchair. You will need your RADAR-key.

I could not see a flat-access entry-point. The main entrance is up a shallow step and then a very steep step. Wheelchair-users, including electric ones, would probably need assistance up the larger step. Thereafter it is an even surface for much of the establishment. There is a pull-handle on the right of the main entrance, but not on the left - the side I need.

Recommendation

Both of us enjoyed our meals and our time in a very friendly environment where locals will chat to you. We shall definitely be returning and shall try their take-away-pizzas. Over all rating: good. %)