Slug and Lettuce, Sale - Review

Recommendation

The Slug and Lettuce in Sale was busy without being rammed - surely a good sign. Indeed, whenever we drive past this central bar-restaurant there always appear to be plenty of customers. That of itself must be a recommendation in these straitened times both for the economy and for restaurateurs especially.

Our total bill with offers came to under £85 for two courses and four drinks apiece, roughly £21 per head. Food was good to very good for price and venue. Drinks fair to good. No complaints. %)

Reason for choosing venue

We were a party of four long-standing friends, three of whom celebrate our birthdays around the same time. Several years ago, in its previous incarnation as a Hogshead we began the tradition of an annual celebration. Quite simply with 2-4-1 cocktails and half-price food on Mondays it has always offered great value for money, even if the food & drinks have not been quite top-notch.

Food

mains

Between us we selected: two 8-oz rump steaks served with chips, onion-rings and tomato - @ £5.37; an open chicken pie served with chips and peas - @ £4.47; and, a farmhouse-style beef pie again served with chips and peas - @ £4.47.

The pommes frites were actually surprisingly good: certainly not the American-style fries (which we had been served in previous years) but neither were they the fashionable chunky blocks-of-potato chips; rather a tasty traditional British chip, crisp on the outside with a pliant but non-soggy potato centre. For the first time on our collective visits, not one chip remained on the plates.

I ordered my rump steak “bleu”. The flesh was surprisingly tender - it sliced effortlessly - and was of an amazingly very good quality with a rich flavour and sufficient juiciness. Only a couple of days previously I had a blue fillet steak in The House Restaurant which was the best steak since dining at Le Flora whilst mini-cruising on Brittany Ferries’ Pont Aven about three years ago. Whilst not as tasty nor quite so tender as House’s exquisite offering, it compared far more favourably than many a steak I have sampled in restaurants for quadruple the price.

The chicken open-pie contained large hunks of perfectly cooked breast-meat in a luscious white-wine cream-sauce on a puff-pastry base. As my companion's teeth sank into the pastry one could even hear the crisp snap of the top flakes.

The other mains, along with the dishes above were completely scoffed. Nothing remained on any of the plates barring the cutlery and the odd tell-tale sign that there had been food on the surface. Given this state of affairs and all the glowing comments from around the table, I can say nothing other than all heartily recommended. And a bonus at under £20 for all four dishes.

desserts

Between us we ordered: chocolate tart; cheesecake; lemon crumble tart; cookie cup - @ £2.48. We all sampled everyone else’s pudding. Whilst everyone enjoyed their second course and not a crumb was returned to the kitchen, the unanimous verdict was that the lemon crumble tart was the pièce de résistance! Neither overly tart nor sweet, it was light in texture and glided down the throat. Mmm-mmm…

Drink

For obvious reasons we were there for the 2-4-1 offer on cocktails. Between us we glugged: pornstar martinis; white Russians; Bombay breeze; strawberry daiquiri; pink ladies; and a few beers to boot.

This was the first time we were slightly disappointed with the cocktails - perhaps because we have been spoiled by Bloom Live’s superb offerings. As an example, the pornstars, whilst having a distinctive passionfruit flavour, were sweeter and verging on cloying. There was no panache and the drink seemed sluggish compared to the expert cocktail-makers’ offerings at Bloom’s. Disappointingly the shot of sparkling white was utterly flat and without a single bubble. Additionally there was no flambéed half passionfruit floating as if on an exotic pool. At @ £8.95 (as opposed to @ £7.50 at Bloom's) they do not represent good value for money. The other cocktails could be similarly critiqued.

[Image description: the writer with half-drunk espresso martini]

Only one that was sampled could be considered first rate: the espresso martinis. Smooth textured & flavoured and a visual delight, @ £7.95, they ought to come with a warning - I was wired, alert and hyperactive until four in the morning. Delicious though. %D

Service

For the first time ever the manager actually led our party to a table and informed us of the name of our waiter for the evening.

The lovely Rob, who co-incidently had served us the previous year, (shockingly perhaps) remembered us. One of our party is a tad curmudgeonly whilst we other three are ebullient. One of our party continuously leered at his shapely derrière. Unperturbed, Rob coped more than admirably with this ostensibly difficult admixture - bless him! He always kept a smile upon his visage as well as being sufficiently confident to engage in badinage.

Staff at the bar were likewise affable and, for the first time in our experience, speedily efficient. Additionally, and yet again for the first time, the kitchen staff did not keep us hanging on and hanging on for our dinner.

In short, efficient service with a smile. %)

WC Facilities

For ablies, toileting facilities were downstairs in the basement. For obvious reasons I cannot comment thereon.

However, yet again for the first time ever, I did not have the embarrassment of having to request that the disabled toilet be unlocked for my usage. So I was able to discreetly and independently sort myself out without feeling like a second-class citizen. The facilities were spotless and had a fresh aroma.

Visited October 2013.

Bloom Brasserie @ Bloom Live, Altrincham, Review

Recommendation

Bloom Live in Altrincham has an upbeat, affable ambience, with friendly staff and customers. When the tranquil live piano-playing is not, a DJ mixes tunes to tap one’s foot to. The cocktails, as per my previous review (q.v.) are just what the doctor ordered! Highly recommended for a drinks evening.

Unfortunately, whilst the new brasserie menu is a big improvement on the American-style burger-bar fiasco, it is just not good enough. I should happily dine on a starter again if I just wanted a snack, but a full meal left us hungry and disappointed. We hit the ‘fridge as soon as we got back home...

[Image description: the keyboard at © Bloom Live]

Service

Swayed by the 30% discount off food, my dining-partner and I turned up for early doors (around six-thirty). There were some half-a-dozen folk imbibing drinks in the central seating area. Snazzy jazz played jollily in the background. There were no diners, if one excludes a barman on a meal-break. We were quickly noticed and our attentive waitress came over to offer us a table. Naturally we wanted a cocktail first. Alas, the bar was out of a vital ingredient for pornstars; so I settled for a refreshing Jazzbaby and my companion for the ever-so-sweet Mississippi cherry pie. It was no bother to have the drinks tagged to our dining bill - although we later had to point out that the drinks had not been added (yep, too honest for our own good!). Drinks in hand, we were advised we could take any table we wished, the brasserie being deserted. Having first met my partner in a previous incarnation of the venue nearly twelve years ago, we situated ourselves next to the very pillar at which we stumbled upon one another.

Our waitress appeared to be on her own until about eight o’clock. She dealt admirably with the dozen-and-a-half diners or so, keeping a smile upon her mien and a cheery word for each time she passed our way. She and chef never kept us too long. Although in the case of the latter, I should not have minded if the delay would have ameliorated his offerings.

Starters

Pan fried Scottish queen scallops, lemon butter, pea purée - £7.00

To compare the food with the delectable cuisine served at The House Restaurant a couple of weeks earlier (see my review), I ordered scallops for my starter. For my personal pleasure they were a tad underdone, so did not reach the firm-but-pliant exquisite oral experience of the orgasmic scallops served in Goose Green. Nonetheless they were quite tasty. The four molluscs positioned at the points of the compass dotted around a dollop of the tastiest pea & mint purée with an unusually non-wet, unsloppy, wholesome consistency. Drenched in warm lemon-juice this was actually the gastronomic delight on the plate. Furthermore, for me this was the orgasmic moment and highlight of the repast.

Mini Angus beef pie, minted mushy peas, herb gravy - £6.50

My fellow diner tucked into a mini Aberdeen Angus beef & mushroom pie, accompanied by one garlic-coated, roasted cherry tomato and a single-serving-of-cream-sized jug of rich gravy. The meat was divine without a hint of fat. The mushrooms retained their structural integrity and were eaten in slow-motion to prolong the ecstasy. We fruitlessly attempted to identify the pastry-mix; but my companion did not really care for as far as he was concerned it was just perfect.

Mains

Pan fried Gressingham duck breast, orange, parsnip mash, juniper reduction - £17.50

I plumbed for the duck for my mains, incorrectly termed “entrées” on the menu. (This is US usage; but in Britain & France we use the term to mean “a dish served BEFORE the main course or BETWEEN two principal courses”.) The lozenges of duck were interspersed with segments of cooked orange, partly encasing a ramekin amount of the firm, almost fondant potato-like, parsnip mash. The anatidæic flesh - though properly pink - was dry, tough and fatty. The oranges in their overcooked state lost their structural integrity and juiciness. The dish was oddly and unexpectedly droughty. There had been a wispy hint of jus as decoration, but no sauce. I was glad I had ordered a large glass of Chilean Merlot. The cherry tomato accompaniment could have killed me, despite my having warned chef of my (true) food allergy and our lovely waitress having checked my selections were hazard-free. This plate was a delight to the eyes, an æsthetic achievement to be sure, but was a sorry disappointment to the palate. Overpriced and over cooked.

Rack of Welsh lamb, minted mash, rosemary gravy, caramelised parsnips - £17.00

[Image description: rack of lamb dish, © Bloom Live]

My guest chose a rack of Welsh lamb. This was no hearty portion, but mini-rack for a mini appetite. For me the meat was over cooked; but for my guest it was just what he ordered and just what he likes. At the end of his course he chewed happily on the small morsels of flesh still adhering to the wee bones. My partner delighted in his minted mash and his sprig of fresh rosemary. His three long juliennes of parsnip were not what could have been in any sense of the word “caramelised”, as their blanched flesh contrasted vehemently against the blackened lamb. My friend hardly felt satisfied and certainly did not consider the course worth the money.

Sides

Baby vegetables £3.00

Home cut chips £3.00

Our chips were the big, hunky-chunky variety rather than the pathetic American-style fries. Perfectly cooked, so long as one does not expect crunchy. For me, chef had sourced a really tasty potato variety. Spot on.

The side of veggies included: four small carrots - unusually my companion, who is not a carrot-lover, scoffed three before I could get to them; three incredibly and wonderfully sweet baby sweet-corns; a tablespoon of comparably flavourless mini green beans; and, the revelation of the meal, shredded red cabbage, dried fruit and a hint of cinnamon - what a combo!

Desserts

@ £5-6

Normally, I do not have room for three courses these days, but due to the not quite nouvelle cuisine portion sizing, I was still more than peckish. My companion similarly hungry also decided upon dessert. Mine was returned to the kitchen almost untouched: an arid chocolate sponge; a yellow ice that tasted of absolutely nothing; and a delicious strawberry ice-cream with a satisfying thick texture. I am no fan of strawberry-flavoured food, so this was a success - of sorts. My friend had a mint brûlée with what he described as the oddest shortbread he had ever had. Another thumbs-down dish.

Drinks

Not having ingredients for cocktails might be a little remiss, but having not one bottle of sparkling mineral water in a restaurant either indicates a cock-up or a problem. I did notice part-way through our experience a barman arrive with a couple of supermarket carrier-bags. Even odder that the bar is having to pop out for their bottled elixirs! At just under seven pounds for a large glass of fair-to-good wine, I cannot whinge. It went well with my duck. My designated driver was not too happy about having to sip at tap water however!

To summarise…

Some great points; some fair points; some bad points; some terrible points.

Bloom Brasserie has the potential to get it right if their weaknesses are addressed.

%)



For my glowing review of the cocktail bar, see here.

Bloom Live, Altrincham, Review

My review for Tripadvisor (q.v.) of Bloom Live, a cocktail bar, live-music venue and brasserie:

[Image description: the dining area; © Bloom Live]

“Cocktail Bar with Live Music (No Food On This Occasion)”

Didn't know about the 2-4-1 offer on cocktails before we arrived; but as we were at Bloom Live to enjoy cocktail hour (and a half!), it was a boon. Thoroughly enjoyed the tinkling and laid-back singing of Lucy Sassoon - a fabulous talent to be sure. The staff, as ever, were amiable and professional. Furthermore, the friendly and chatty clientele made us feel like we were in a local. A great start to our evening.

[Image description: a cocktail on the bar; © Bloom Live]

We sampled pornstars, a lime daiquiri, a cosmopolitan and pink ladies. Both myself and my lady companion had been salivating at the prospect of the pornstars which come with half a passionfruit in the glass and a chaser of bubbly. Our absolute faves! %D

Visited September 2013

• • Value
  • Atmosphere
• Service
• Food

For my scathing review of the brasserie offerings, see here.

For my scathing review of the brasserie's food offerings, see here.

man on man

man on man

thighs entangled in thighs

living knotted rope

abdominal muscles tighten

blushing pansies

erectile nipples redden

and spread

the limpid pools

of your Betazoid pupils

speak candidly

fill with fearful hope

or an optimistic dread

save for lone lust

all emotion freezes

the carnal tune

urges us on inexorably

playing venerated organs

accompanied by blood rush

inflated pipes harmonise

singing the atavistic chant

the bestial hymn

climax coming soon

man on man

For a fuller explanation of Betazoid see this link: the implication, however, is heavily dilated irises, deep empathy and an almost telepathic understanding.

Tory Slates Use of Food-Banks By Starving

Last week a headline in Manchester's local newspaper, Manchester Evening News (M.E.N.), read:

Tory MP: Food banks could make people too reliant on handouts

I have interspersed some of quotations from the article with my own commentary.

[Image description: Paul Maynard by Blackpool tower; courtesy Wikipedia {{subst:npd}}] 

"Paul Maynard, who works for Minister of State Oliver Letwin, said people could start going to food banks out of habit rather than helping themselves." 

Emergency food parcels should not be given to people – because they could get too reliant on handouts, a Tory MP has said.

This is total balderdash, individuals referred to a food-bank may only do so three times using vouchers given to them by a social worker, a GP (family doctor), a CAB (Citizens' Advice Bureau) adviser or a head-teacher (school principal). They cannot return to the same food-bank. Given most areas only have one food-bank, it is difficult to see how any but a tiny minority would be able to form a habit. Three visits certainly does not constitute a behavioural norm nor does it indicate dependence. According to the Trussell Trust, the UK's main food-bank provider, the main reason for folk needing food assistance is due to governmental delays in processing benefits to which the individuals are fully entitled. In a sense, for very many folk, it is the Government who are actually creating the circumstances that force them to use the very food-banks the so-called Honourable Member seeks to castigate.

"Mr Maynard, who has some of the country’s most deprived wards in his own constituency [Blackpool North & Cleveleys], said: “I value personal responsibility. 

I do not believe that immediate food relief should be the role of the government. We can’t make food banks part of the welfare state. 

What I don’t want to do is normalise food poverty."

I wrote and submitted a comment that was accepted and now appears below the article:

"Under Britain's UN obligations the State is obliged to ensure food security for all its citizens. It is currently in breach of those obligations in a similar way as it is in breach of housing obligations, as recently exposed by a UN rapporteur. 

The so-called party of law & order seems to only want to follow the legal requirements that suit; hardly an exemplar to its citizens!"

The news item continued:

"But charities hit back, saying they had been left to face a huge number of people going hungry because of changes to welfare payments." 

"Representatives from debt advice charities and food-growing schemes said they feared the bedroom tax had left people too poor to eat…" 

And "the Poverty Commission warn[s] 1.6m people across the region are in danger of sliding into severe poverty."

Alas there are gullible and uninformed individuals who actually believe much of the rhetoric and polemic spouted by Maynard and others within the ConDem administration and the main-stream media (MSM). One such chap stated about the MP's comments:

"What he says is right, what do these "customers" spend the benefits they get on? Yes there are essential fuel costs but it's sometimes a lifestyle choice, ie have takeaway/supermarket prepacked meals v the cheaper make it yourself meals."(sic)

I felt obliged to stand up for folk…

"In response to James Wales (8.32): many disabled & elderly have to buy pre-packed meals; some due to physical inability to cook (arthritis/pain/spasms/shakes/weakness/etc.); some because they only get 15mins from social care to prepare & cook a meal as well as any other assistance that is required."

I am part of the WoW campaign which is trying to raise awareness of the difficulties, stress and unfortunately tragedies that have been and will continue to be caused by the so-called 'welfare reforms'. If the reader would like to help, please add your signature to the WoWpetition.

Oh, and by the by, this IS the Member of Parliament who described we disabled campaigners as "extremists" putting us on a par with terrorists. Though he did later apologise and attempt to retract the statement.