Tuesday, 18 August 2015

P*ss*d Off With Facebook's Censorship

I have just posted and ranted on Facebook:
Nut & Geb: ancient Egyptian creation myth; and yes, that is an erect #penis.
Facebook is obsessed with policing what adults can view, constantly censoring Art, health and academic posts that allegedly do not fulfil the requirements of its community rules. We are the community, we are adults and we ought to be permitted to share adult-themed materials. This puritanical vein is a hang-over and in some sense a puerile attempt at staving off maturity. It is anti-intellectualism. It is anti-freedom. It is cultural colonialism. Grow up #Facebook!

[Image description: papyrus image of Nut about to be impregnated by her husband, Geb; note the website jungy was unable to credit any copyright.]

Yesterday, a Facebook chum, author, artist and illustrator, Daniel Mainé was asked by Facebook to remove an alleged problematic image. The guy has never once posted anything that could be considered pornographic or contentious, let alone inappropriate. Recall, I was a primary-school teacher, I am quite aware of what might be appropriate.

Today, I discover, my good chum, artist Eric Lacavalerie has had his personal account closed for twenty-four hours for sharing the following image:

[Image description: a naked man doing press-ups on a bed; below him sits an at least partially naked man; the top man's unseen gentitals are on or above the seated chap's face/head; © Eric Lacavalerie aka GayArtbyEric]

In deference to Facebook's absurd puritanism, Eric had self-censored the naked buttock cheeks.

I myself was subjected to a rap over the knuckles for a health-related article (one of a series) I posted on damaged penes, despite the images being available on Wikipedia.

"If thine eye offends thee, pluck it out!" cites the Bible. Well, in the modern world, I would suggest that if something is visually offensive to someone, that they refrain from looking at it. Just because one person is offended, does not mean the majority are.

I have written elsewhere how I consider taking offence is a deliberate action by the emotionally &/or intellectually immature, so I shall not repeat myself. See my blog-post "Offensive language" if you are so inclined.

Grow up folks! Stop reporting things you do not like or are against your so-called beliefs. Your holier-than-me attitude does not win me or others over to your cause. If you have a problem, say so and debate it publicly. What faith to hide behind tell-tales!

Rant over.

Wednesday, 12 August 2015

Coitus At Last! / "White"

WARNING: the following blog-post is about sex, especially gay sex; if the subject matter might offend, please do not continue reading.




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Those of you who have been following my blog are probably aware of my difficulties in finding a sexual partner. For BADD2012, Blogging Against Disablism Day, I wrote Sexual Eunuchs? about being gay and disabled, discriminated against twice by society at large and by the so-called gay community. Then for BADD2013 I scribed No Sex Please, We're… Disabled!, which hopefully highlighted some of the logistical difficulties in arranging a sexual liaison.

Well, a few months back, whilst on my annual sojourn in Spain, I finally - and fantastically - met a chap who was willing to play with this disabled writer. After more than eleven years without experiencing coitus, I truly felt like Madonna's virgin, "touched for the very first time". A tad nervous, to be sure. And giddy as an adolescent again too!

Thankfully, the lover and myself hit it off and we were able to have several days/nights of fun and games together. Yes, we had to pause to let cramps, muscle-spasms or stabbing pains pass. Yes, some positions proved impossible with my bone, joint and muscle issues relating to my various arthritic conditions. Yes, we had to pause so as I could regain my breath due to exertional apnœa. And yes, we had to stop for rest-breaks and sleeps, because of the ME/FMS. Through all this, though, we: laughed; gasped; giggled; chatted; kissed; and all the other things that lovers usually do. We had a lot of fun and parted chums. I was thankful for being able to both give and receive sexual pleasure once again. Mostly I was overjoyed to have tactile pleasure. I cannot say I did not want the sexual intercourse, as I very desperately did; but I was happiest at having someone to embrace and to cuddle me. I miss that intimacy.

Naturally, apart from my bodily fluids, my creative juices began flowing. As is my usual modus operandi, over several days I drafted a poem in my head, before finally typing it out and making final amendments and redactions.

What I wrote is neither poetry nor prose: it is somewhere in between. I have occasionally written other pieces that cross-over the two genres. Is it prosaïc poëtry or poëtic prose?






White…

White: the virginal page, upon which nought has yet been written; under the hand-scribed or typed words.

White: the spume of the sea, tickling the sand and giggling in a low susurrus; exhibitionist surf crashing on the rocks; the once-shy now wild white-horses frolicking in the sunshine and the salty brine; sea-angels coruscating whilst they play in the isthmus between water and air.

White: the clouds occasionally slipping through the habitual cerulean firmament; the blanket occasionally blocking the sun from view.

White: all the flowers in my garden - alegría, geranium, rose, cyclamen, kalanchoë, marguerite, snapdragon,…

White: the sense of peace, calm, tranquility, clear-headedness, purity.

White: the froth on our coffees; the head on our beers; the wine we daily drank, and supped, imbibed and got drunk upon; libation unto we demi-gods.

White: all my bedding, your sheets and pillow-cases enveloping our hot, our cold, our fevered shells; your bathroom’s sanitaryware taking away our bodies’ unwanted fluids and detritus; your soft, warm towels drying our skin and hair.

White: the hairs amongst the silken grey and black on your head, your chest and my favourite hirsute spot, the wee hollow between your shoulders and neck.

White: your buttock cheeks, sandwiched between your lobster-red torso and firm legs.

White: the little jewel sewn on your puce rosebud.

White: the cum that spilled across your salt & pepper’d chest this morning; mimicking a champagne explosion and creating an ephemeral œuvre; becoming diaphanous and then invisible as it soaked into your hungry flesh; disappearing as you from me, all except memory.

White.


Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Severe M.E. Day

More than two months without blogging. I am afraid I have been rather unwell. The result has been sleeping in excess of my typical fourteen hours per day. And, when I have been awake, I have been suffering from cognitive and neurological symptoms. Nonetheless, I have been jotting notes for items. If I ever regain my faculties, I shall have plenty of material to go at.

Every year, the eighth of August is commemorated as Severe ME Day. I was too unwell to blog that day; but I did post to Facebook:

"I swing between "moderate", "severe" and "very severe". The account below describes my life as it is for the majority of the time. When I go into "very severe" mode I am paralysed by pain and am unable to move anything, even eyeballs is excruciating. Even in an emergency, in such circumstances, I should be incapable of movement to escape.
 #‎ME‬ ‪#‎MyalgicEncephalomyelitis‬ ‪#‎SEID‬"



Apologies to those with visual impairments: I do not have the energy to re-write the above.

Tuesday, 9 June 2015

Café Jelinek, Vienna: a Review

On our penultimate day of our trip to Vienna, we started and ended our "shopping" day with coffee. We opted for the gemütlich* delights of Café Jelinek, on Otto-Bauer-Gasse, a short stroll from our lodgings. It is a traditional and typical example of a Viennese Café, Wiener Kaffeehaus. As far as I know no-one of world renown is or was a regular there; but whilst there we were sitting next to an M.I.T. professor and a couple of academics.



One enters a slightly shabby-chic establishment (as the two photographs above probably demonstrate) that is confident in its decaying décor and plush velvet.  The attitude is: take it or leave it, nonetheless we shall treat you just the same as anyone else - pleasantly, professionally and without sycophancy.

At the end of the bar cum counter is a glass-covered zone set aside for the Kuchen, the cakes and pastries. My companion opted for Linzer Torte and I for a slice of the Apfel und Mandeln Torte, apple and almond cake; respectively the left and right confections in the image below. Thankfully they did not come garnished with Schlagobers (Austrian German; Schlagsahne in German German), or whipped cream. The portions are generous, perhaps overly so, as we were rapidly filled having consumed a hearty breakfast earlier in the day.


And what about the coffee (der Kaffee), the most essential part of any visit, you may ask. Well it was so delicious during my first visit I took two cups and then we returned later in the afternoon for a top-up. All coffees are served with a small glass of cool water. Ever so civilised!

Finally, below, pictures of the writer (on the left) and my companion (on the right) demonstrating how much we enjoyed ourselves - the big smiles are a dead give-away… %)))




* Gemütlich does not translate directly into English. My computer's dictionary offers the bland "pleasant and cheerful", which certainly does not do the term justice. For a more in-depth explanation, see Wikipedia's article on Gemütlichkeit.


Monday, 1 June 2015

Stadtnest B&B, Vienna: a Review

[Image description: the writer enjoying Kaffee und Kuchen (coffee & cake) in
the gemütlich & traditional Café Jelinek, a few minutes' stroll from Stadtnest]

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There is a little plaque outside the entrance on Stumpergasse advising that Stadtnest B&B is nestled inside the hundred-and-twenty-odd-year-old edifice. Heaving open the outer-door - strong enough for a small fortress - one trundles along the cool, stoney corridor to the next set of doors. These are not opened just yet, for one needs to turn to one’s right and locate the intercom to connect with the landlady. Barbara Lenz, proprietrix, instantly greeted me by name and advised us to go through the aforementioned second door to the lift (elevator).

Through the door and across a small courtyard cum bicycle-store, one approaches a modern steel and glass lift-shaft. The door to the lift opened and Barbara was there to assist us with our luggage and demonstrate how the electronic key calls and operates the lift. The lift has been deftly retro-fitted to call at mezzanine levels between floors, what were previously just landings on the stone staircase. Inevitably this means a short flight of steps down- or upwards (so not suitable for wheelchair-users nor those who have difficulty with steps).

Next Barbara apprised us as to which conventional key opened the front-door to the B&B (and not her apartment which is just next-door - so she is on hand if needed).

One enters a brightly lit, modern furnished, bijou dining-room cum library cum office. The shelves, and for that matter anywhere there is space, are crowded with tomes, books, pamphlets, leaflets and maps, every last one on some subject or other to do with Vienna. The gate-leg table expands to become a breakfast-/dining-table as required, but can also be used as a work-station. In the corner is a large computer and telephone for use by guests, along with a pad of maps - to which one is at liberty to help oneself.

Off this room are four doors other than the entrance: two to guests’ rooms; one to a communal wc; and, the final one to a fully-fitted, compact kitchen with all one needs to prepare, cook and clear up after a small meal. There is another table situated here too. Also, this is where the white-board command-centre is located. (We never once needed to visit a tourist information office!) Barbara keeps it up to date with the latest events in Vienna as well as notes to enquiries from current guests. We took our breakfast (one selects a time between 08.00 and 09.30 - although earlier can be arranged for early-morning departures) each day here. Barbara offers an extensive menu, including her own freshly baked breads and home-made jams (jellies). For coffee-holics, like myself, she is always happy to make more of the brown nectar!

Our room was at the front of the building, with views over Stumpergasse. I am a fresh-air fiend, so appreciated that all the windows opened fully. The street itself is rarely busy or noisy; but one needs to take into account that noise travels further at night-time. However, the fan in the room works perfectly - we tried it even though we never actually needed it on.

[Image description: aspect of our room, courtesy & © Stadtnest]

There are three chairs, a sofa, a double bed, a desk cum dressing-table, a wardrobe, a large chest of drawers, two bedside tables each with two deep drawers, a side table and various lighting options. There are also a flat-screen television-set with a fantastically crisp picture, a radio-alarm-clock and chocolates every day on the pillows!

The en suite is only large enough for one person at a time; but recall there is a communal toilet if needed. The shower was amply large and the water, once heated after a few moments, emits at a satisfying speed and strength. Toiletries [organic] are provided if one does not wish to use one’s own. We used a small tube of gentle shower-gel to clean our spectacles and sun-glasses each day, so cannot comment on the products’ interactions with human skin/hair [although I am reliably informed that no reaction on a child's skin]. The type of wc was new to both my companion and myself, but as long as one follows the clearly printed rules, one cannot go wrong. The wash-hand basin was large and enabled one to shave, clean one’s teeth, wash, etc. without hindrance. The bathroom was cleaned every day, so we came back each late afternoon to a fresh and tidy appearance.

Stadnest is perfectly located between three of the Viennese underground, U-Bahn, lines, the U3, U4 and U6 as well as Westbahnof, one of the main city train-stations. All approximately a ten-minute walk from the front-door [recall I have a limp!]. Walking to the Innere Stadt (Old City) [within the famous Ringstaße], where many of the most famous tourist attractions are to be found takes approximately forty-five minutes [29 mins. per googlemaps] - depending how many shops, cafés, cake-shops (Konditorei), etc. one calls at! One is also within very short walking distances of many good eateries. For example see my review of the recently opened Zum Wohl which is just up the street.

[Image description: inside Zum Wohl]

My companion stated at the end of our seven-night stay that we would not have received such wonderful service in a five-star hotel (and he travels a lot). Barbara treats her guests as members of the family and made us feel totally chez nous (at home).

I have visited Vienna many times, but this was my chum’s first visit. He wants to return soon. And when we do, we shall be staying again at Stadtnest.


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