Friday 12 July 2013


It's that time of year: sun blazing down on scorched turf; birdsong twittering along in the background; the distant poop-poop of a motorcycle; and then THWACK! the unmistakeable shot of cork against willow ricocheting around the environs of the local cricket pitch.

At school cricket bored me to tears. I wanted to be doing something. In middle age a friend and neighbour, who happened to be an ex-pro cricketer, kindly explained the laws and took me each Sunday to some local league cricket match or other hither and thither in Lancashire. I learned to enjoy the sport, the packed lunch and the warm, cask beer served in the clubhouse.

Whilst rugby has its muscled bears and soccer has its glamour boys, cricket never quite seems to elicit the slightest hint of the erotic.

One Sunday, however, in Middleton, beads of sweat clinging to me in the sultry afternoon heat, I was suddenly and unexpectedly flustered by being turned on. Here's why...


his jockstrap
my glance keeps returning to it
towards the cricket pavilion
a posturing jog
no box protection
so nowt is hidden
not particularly well endowed
he dresses to the left
quite noticeably
his dick and balls bob
up and down
facing the onlookers
he stands unabashed
thrusts down
the front of his pants
his hand
lentiginous tanned skin
and forearm
reddy-golden hairs
a lengthy self-adjustment
jiggling his tackle
quite brazen
no embarrassment
after all
he must adjust
his jockstrap
I burn in the heat
with lust
later tugging
at the band of his jockstrap
strongly underscoring
his left buttock
on its right-side only
a fleshy fold overlaps
where his jockstrap
deeply cuts
into his meaty cheek
jogging from long-off
in the outfield
his gluteus maximus muscles
wobble and ripple
en route to second-slip
drawn back
to his jockstrap
a visibly sweating butt-crack
a darkening of the centre-seam
a tau-cross on whites
- oh boy,
get a grip -
is it discomfort
or discomfiture
that causes him
to periodically tug
at his pants' seat
every few minutes
after any and every action
back to this rousing
his jockstrap

[Image description: cricketer Alex Stewart dropped his pants to adjust his jockstrap; from a newspaper clipping, date & © unknown]

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